World of less logic and more Dreams

2011-12-08T20:11:00.000+05:30

शुक्रिया

पेड़ की छाव
सूरज की गर्मी
फूलों की मुस्कान
है हर मौसम में एक समान

बांटे तू ख़ुशी, बढाए उमंग
मेरे हर मौसम में

आज समझी क्या है तेरा मूल धर्म
प्यार, प्यार, बस निर्मल प्यार

ए खुदा, शुक्रिया

2011-11-13T20:25:00.038+05:30

Realisation

It was getting dark, hence everyone started leaving after the evening Satsang. Murali stayed back as he wanted to talk to Sharma Ji bit more and understand the spiritual journey he has gone through.

Murali asked Sharma ji, how did you get interested in the spiritual path? I had heard from people that once upon a time, you were like a free bird, for whom enjoyment meant something else. I am really curious to know what made you change so much.
Hearing the question, Sharma Ji smiled and said, everything is in His hands.

Murali Ji left after hearing this, as he felt that he cannot force Sharma Ji to reveal. If he wills he will tell on his own in one of the Satsangs.

Sharma Ji did his routine meditation and then helped his son do his homework, when his wife announced dinner is ready, he quickly took bath and then had his dinner with family. As he went to bed, his thoughts went to the question Murali had asked, and he went on a flashback.

Since college, he had a huge circle of friends, loitering with friends, catching a movie or just chatting on random topics was his favorite pass-time. Luckily, the person he got married too was also fond of food and going outdoors. Friday evening meant going out with his gang. Weekends were for family, which always had movie plus dinner in agenda on one of the weekends. His fun-filled food rich life was reflected in his body, his face became round from oval and his waist acquired some inches of additional circumference.

One day his wife's mother came, she used to follow some baba and would religiously watch his discourse in evening. As a result, even Sharma Ji and his wife was forced to see the same program. Sharma Ji was listening to the discourse half-heartedly and his thoughts went to the cricket match he was missing out. The baba talked about satvic food and the benefits of it and then went on to talk about the 4 principles, do not kill anyone, don’t say lie, be truthful, be loyal to your wife.

After his mother-in-law had gone, he was happy to go back to old routine and was looking forward to go out with friends on Friday. Friday evening, they went to their usual place and ordered chicken curry and beer. Sharma Ji could easily take 3 glasses without any issue, for some reason, he could not take even a single glass that day. He puked as he tried to do bottom's up. Sharma Ji felt may be it’s because of season change. The following sat, the family went out for dinner and they order KFC chicken burger. As soon as Sharma Ji took the first bite, his body made him vomit.

Sharma Ji and his family was clueless as to why this happened. The same thing happened following week too, Sharma Ji decided to go to the doctor, as he felt his immune system seems to have gone down and must have acquired some new dreaded disease. The doctor examined Sharma Ji and found no issue of any kind, on persistence of Sharma Ji asked him to get some test done. Sadly they all came normal. Sharma Ji slowly stopped going out for food and because of him, even his family stopped going out. Sharma Ji now began spending time reading books, hearing discourses.

Slowly everyone could see a change in Sharma Ji, he seemed to be always peaceful and smiling. People started asking him the reason for change. Sharma Ji said that he is finding lot of solace in reading good books and hearing good discourses. Everyone asked him to share what he read with them once in a while, and that how the evening satang’s started.

As Sharma Ji, thought of all this...he realized that his path to spirituality began after hearing the first discourse and it was his body which walked on the path first :) and it made his mind follow the body.

2011-11-09T13:33:00.003+05:30

प्यारी मेरी दुलारी

हे प्यारी, मेरी दुलारी, तुम क्यों हो सोचती
कि वक़्त बीत गया और अब तुम न उड़ पावोगी

याद करो तुम अपने वो भोले निर्मल सपने

जो लहरों की तरह सीमा विहीन थे

जो तुम्हे कुछ भी है मुमकिन की सीख देते

माना की चाल है अब थोड़ी धीमी
पर मन अब भी है बच्चे सा निर्मल

जो है जानता सपनो की पतंगे उडाना

कटने पे नयी शुरुवात करना

मत बांधो अपने पैरो में खुद ही बेडिया

तुम चलो उन्मुक्त हो के

दो अपने सपनो को नए पंख
पूरी कायनात है तुम्हारे संग

2011-07-27T23:22:00.002+05:30

Follow your heart, walk the invisible path
Set paths may give interim benefits
But its the path less travelled that takes you to a new world

2011-07-17T11:38:00.000+05:30

Why Not This Way

Why is that for some the finishing line is more important than the thrill of the run

Why is that people look for a label for a relation instead of just enjoying the nameless bond

You talk about the materialistic things how about treasure hunting the priceless pearls of wisdom within and around

Why measure oneself on the weights recommended by society, how about becoming weightless in the world

How about for once living at the whims of heart instead of head

2011-06-19T20:59:00.003+05:30

Kabir in Navadarshanam

Had gone to three day workshop on kabir songs, was sure it was going to be good..as i knew hearing Prahalad ji sing in person gonna be a great experience. What i did not knew then was how simple and frank he was as a person too...he is extremely warm and very down to earth. When i first saw him in the kitchen, i was not sure whether i would feel comfortable talking to him or not...but as the days progressed felt completely at ease to share my views and thoughts. Its amazing to meet people who walk their talk, he is a true follower of kabir.

Another thing that added to this magic was Navadarshanam, in specific Ananthu Ji. A place that follows the vision of the place to the core, teaching us all how to co-exist with surroundings and what we really need.

Being in the place itself, was an experience in itself. Eco friendly architecture, food, simplicity and warmth of people around just touched me so much. Coming to the place was like recharging oneself to full :)

Hearing Ananthu Ji talk is an experience in itself, he explained things so clearly...making us appreciate the poetry even more. Will always remember his child like laughter and the warmth he gave each one of us.

As a bonus, we got to hear some renditions of poetry from southern India by poets like purandara dasa. It was amazing to realize that all learned people, told the same thing.

Overall it was a great experience, it was also nice meeting people from different backgrounds. Would like to thank Nikita and Anju for organizing it and giving me this great opportunity to experience this.

2011-04-19T22:42:00.000+05:30

Double Trouble

The king and queen of Sumerkuda were staunch devotees of Shiva. Shiva was really pleased with their devotion, which was selfless and with no expectations.

One day, the king announced to his wife that, he is planning to construct a Shiva temple only for himself, wherein he only will be the priest and will serve his lord the way he wanted. Hearing this, the Rani said...what about me, even i would like to serve my lord the way i want too. On hearing this, the king said, okay i will get two temples made side my side near our place. One will be your temple and another would be mine.

The next day, the king announced this decision to his ministers and asked the most skilled craftsmen in the kingdom to present their designs.

Post 6 months, two grand temples which were replicas of each other were created. King and Queen were thrilled to see their wish fulfilled. Post that, both king and queen got busy with how they would like to praise their lords etc....Narada..seeing all this, came rushing to Shiva's abode and said, have you seen what your favorite devotees are doing, the king and queen have become the priests of their own temple. Shiva said, its just pure love and they are not neglecting any of their duties so let them do what they please.

Slowly, lot of ceremonies that were being held in the temples started happening at the same time and Shiva had to juggle his time between the two places...he always felt the guilt that maybe i am not doing justice to my devotees. Shiva shared his worries with his wife Parvati. Parvati said, why dont u just listen to the recordings using the time travel device. Shiva said, no no...i would like to give my fav devotees blessing at that moment itself.

Parvati knew how innocent her husband was and he will just worry about he not being able to do justice to their love. Parvati felt, she only would have to do something. She immediately called Narada and told him to keep her posted with latest developments in Sumerkuda and try to make the king and queen understand Shiva's plight.

Narada thought of an idea, he got two neighboring kings to invite the king on the same day and time. Narada went to see the king to see what he will decide.The king was discussing with his ministers what he can do, he did not want to say no to anyone. Narada said, your deity is able to multitask between your and your wife's puja's i am sure you can also do something like this. Hearing this, the king said he is Shiva the lord, what he can do, i cannot do. Narada felt, he would have to do something else to drive the point.

After few months, Narada came rushing to Parvati and told her about the non-stop 24 hr celebrations being planned by king and queen on the occasion of Shiva Ratri...Imagining 24 hrs of non-stop celebration, Parvati felt she had to do something to put this to stop...she told Narada something in his ear, hearing which Narada smiled.

Next day, Narada went to the court, the king was thrilled to see Narada, while having lunch with Narada, King and Queen told him about their grand plan. On hearing this, Narada said, don't u know if husband and wife dont do pooja together on Shiva Ratri, Shiva is not pleased, he is after all a family man and represents an ideal household. On hearing that King and Queen got tensed and thought what they can do, as it did not feel good to neglect one temple completely after establishing the god there. Narada said, why don't you make one temple open for public and you both can do your puja together in one temple? Post marriage, you both resolved to live a single life, don't you think if you pray your favorite deity together, u will find greater joy.

On hearing this, the king and queen felt, it makes sense...instead of they thinking individually its better if they thought as one. They decided to do as suggested by Narada.

On the Shiva Ratri day, Shiva was pleased to see both of them praying together, he told Parvati, see how wise my devotees are. Parvati nodded and smiled.

2011-01-29T12:51:00.001+05:30

Cracked Pots

Whom am i to pass a judgment on anyone
I who know the cracks in my own pot
though from outside it may seem all fine
The scars within and the recurring plastering
to keep on the surface smooth is only known to me

We all are cracked pots, with our own unique abrasions
Why this futility of finding faults in others
You cannot change a baked pot
but u can mold a pot which is still on the wheel of consciousness

2011-01-22T23:29:00.001+05:30

No One killed Jessica

Saw the movie 'No One killed Jessica' today, also read an article in Tehelka on how actually they carried out the stings and unearthed the facts.

The first thing that stuck me was how aware was i of all this, i did hear about the case but did not follow the proceedings to that much detail. I just felt that, if we as citizens of this country, do not remain alert to whats happening around and voice our opinion, India will become a place were things run as per the whims of rich and powerful.

I know lot is wrong even now...BJP CM refusing to step down though there is so much of proof against him...land scams...victimization of people by police...the list goes on and on.

Will the educated masses think of relocating to other place as the only solution to deal with issues with the system? Who will clean the home then?

Tehalka magazine has definitely shown the power of media and what we as people can do if we identify with a problem...till we think of someone's issue/tragedy as just news to ponder for few minutes and move on in our routine drudgery, nothing will ever get fixed here....and we will just be living a life where all is happy and good, till nothing happens to me and my loved ones.

2011-01-01T10:03:00.001+05:30

Happy New Year

New year...is like a new diary....each page is waiting to see what you write onto it.

I am really looking forward to this year and curious to see what i finally pen this year

Hope i have gone wiser with my past experiences :)

World....here i come :)

Wish you all a very happy new year...lets make it a rocking new year!

2010-10-31T11:41:00.002+05:30

तुमने पिला दिया प्यार का जो प्याला
में हो गयी दीवानी ए मेरे मौला
अब न भाये यह जग हंगामा
क्या अमर है और क्या है निश्छल
खूब मैंने जाना

अब में न चाहू रिश्तो के बंधन
कहो चाहे इन्हें किसी नाम से तुम
दोस्त, प्रेमी, भाई या मामा
अब तो में मानु सिर्फ वो ही रिश्ता

जहा दिल से दिल की बात हो
न कुछ पाने की आस हो

क्या है शोहरत क्या है कामियाबी
जहा दिल को सुकून हो की मैंने फ़र्ज़ अदाया
में तो उसी संतोष्टि में तृप्त हो जाऊ
अब न चाहू बहारी प्रशंसा
में क्या हु वोह में ही जानू

अब न सोचु की और क्या सोचे
अब ये चक्रवुयु मैंने भेद डाला

यह न सोचना की में बस सहती जाऊ
क्या सही है और क्या गलत है
यह फिर्क मैंने जाना
अब तो में बोलू अडिग हो के
रख सच को सदा साथ
में यह खूब जानू की जहा सच वह तुम

अब तो हो गयी दीवानी ए मौला
अब तो हो गयी दीवानी ए मौला

2010-09-12T17:45:00.000+05:30

Alone huh not Really

Imagine u want to see a movie desperately and u cannot find company or you need to go to your friend's marriage and you know there is no one who can give u company there...what do you do?

In India, people have not yet come to terms with someone venturing alone to do certain things. Imagine you want to go on vacation, first question would be where are u going and then next with whom?

What can one do to avoid weird looks of people who seem to be trying to guess..why has this person come alone?

I have been in such situations couple of times...first person i would like to thank is the inventor of cellphones...i can always act busy checking messages or call up someone as SOS. As soon as u see someone with sympathy approaching you at function...call or act as if you are about to call someone.

In flights/trains, have met some people who would like to extract your entire bio data....at those times...i thank the inventor of headphones/ipod. I can always act as if i have not heard them...it happened to me once...i was flying back from Amsterdam to Delhi. The flight took off 3 times but because of some issue, we landed back at Amsterdam. Hence as a result, the two people who were sitting next to be on either side knew each and everything about me...when they started off giving me gyan...i realized its time to either act asleep or put on headphones :)

For me the next stage would be to not act busy but be amused by this uncalled for attention..it will take me a while to get there.

2010-09-09T20:06:00.005+05:30

Nameless Bond

Some bonds are not explainable and do not need any conversation...the silence says it all.

The is a conversation happening in silence...have felt such a bond with my auto-wallah.

Every day when get i dropped to office, i give him a nod...a nod which a 6 yr old gives to her papa saying 'aap ab jaao'...and i too get a similar nod back from him :)

There have been time when i have called him from office at night asking me to pick up...always felt he could sense my SOS and ensures he or someone else picks me.

In the morning, when i call him..there is a very sweet voice which picks the call and when i ask her 'bhaiya ab aa sakte hai', she says 'ha aayenge'. Every day we just have the same conversation. I felt this must be his wife..who religiously picks the call for him.

Today, our conversation was slightly different. After my regular query, she asked me in proper english, Wanted to ask u something, are u veg or non-veg? I was surprised and impressed by the clarity of talk that too in english...i asked her why are u asking me this? She said, papa ne poochne ko bola hai...ramzaan aa raha hai na isliye. Asked my auto wallah today, kon si class mein padti hai aapki beti...got to know she is in 7th class.

Hoping to have more conversation with her next time i call.

2010-07-17T23:35:00.001+05:30

Boundary less Home

Sneh, the young sparrow could not believe what he and his family had to go through, he was having a hard time in deciphering why behind the whole thing...he had lot of questions, somehow could not muster the courage to ask his father, who was sitting on the wire pole along with this friends and discussing the options available.

At night, when his mother came to put him to bed, in their new makeshift home, which was the old Ganesha temple, he asked ma, why did it happen, u always said it was our house and i know you and papa built it...how could then someone break it...ma was speechless, the papa sparrow heard the conversation and sat near his son's bed...He said Son, it was our house, all my fore fathers had lived in the same place which is now called Whitefield...but lately have seen lot of trees getting cut and then seen humans making their houses there with stone and mortar ....sadly they don't seem keen in enjoying nature and want all space for themselves...i can never understand why they need so much space...after all a home needs to have just sufficient space for one to eat/sleep....i don't know what they do with all that space..dont they want space for there kids to play and enjoy the beautiful creations of god?

For us, we want sun god to wake us up...and tell us that its a beautiful morning and its time to get ready and go to work....at evening...along with the sun...we also come home...to rest and relax....the moon provides us the night lamp...so that we can see the path in case of an emergency.

I don't understand what guides these humans...as i have seldom seen them follow something like this..they love to wake up on hearing some shrill sound which they call alarm rather than to the bird chirping....and they do not have a time to come back home on time...have seen them come at such odd times...i wonder why their lifestyle has changed so much.

But Pa...why do we have to pay a price? they have destroyed our entire community...everyone is scattered...i don't know where my friend muskaan is and when will i meet her again? They are impacting our lives...

I know my son..sadly we don't have the powers to force a change...just hope they realise one day that like them even we birds have a home/family...and how it feels when suddenly one fine day...u realise your house is getting chopped...they don't even see, if a nest has an unborn...they are merciless..they just want space...

Son, we birds have never believed in boundaries...where ever we are...we make that place our home..these humans have taught us one more thing...which is to not remain attached...if our home is taken away from us...we start our quest for a new home...and once again settle. Home is where we all are....and we can recreate it again and again.

2010-06-13T12:44:00.001+05:30

Imagine me wearing a worn out but comfortable shawl with my hair dripping coconut hair

my face carrying a sad expression as if disaster has stuck

I might remind u of rajesh khanna in climax scene in anand movie or meena kumari in some tragic movie

What has happened to me..why have i turned like devadas

with nothing interesting me...neither emails nor facebook nor songs...

Guys, i have been stuck with dreaded cold

i am not giving build up less than of a cancer patient

Telling my mom again and again that i don't want to do anything

and telling myself i dont have any energy to do anything today

taking bath was the biggest accomplishment for today :-)

Can never underestimate cold...it kinda slows down all action

I am sure cold must have been the reason for lot of memorable sad songs :-)

It teaches you to appreciate health in a snap

I think have written enough of melodrama and i better stop now

2010-01-17T14:30:00.002+05:30

Concert
Recently went to a carnatic classical concert, it was definitely great experience. Two things came in my mind...one a concert is a team work, all people involved must be immersed in the process and that’s it.just imagine if each person, the flutist, the mridagam player or the gatham player start playing such that they get the maximum time to play, it will be chaos...i know its very obvious...a concert where each person compliments the other and highlights the strengths of the other instruments the entire experience becomes magical. No instrument is better than the other, each instrument has its own specialty.

The part I enjoy most is when each instrumentalist plays a beat and the same beat is repeated in another instrument, I like to think of it as two friends teasing and making fun of the each other and at the end, all friends have a big laugh together.

I sometimes visualize the notes as people and when I hear something like this Sa Ni Da Pa, Sa Na Da Pa, Ma Ga Re Sa...it feels as if Sa is angry and his friends Na Da are trying to cheer up Sa and are calling him to come with them to play...Sa takes a long time to get better and the entire composition reflects the efforts made by his friends to cheer him and at the end. Sa finally feels good and hence, Sa Ni Da Pa Ma Ga Re Sa ;)

2009-12-27T12:22:00.009+05:30

Renovation

Getting the house renovated is a pain as well as a joy....the joy of selecting the right color for the wall, the right tiles, right curtains...the joy one feels, seeing the imagination take life is amazing...u see one standing opposite the creation as if saying....did i feel it will look so good when i was selecting...i should be interior designing...what am i doing, wasting my time doing 9-5 job....if one always thinking in terms of ROI, that person will say...i got all this done in XX Rs can you believe it...i knew exactly where to get what and my bargaining skills are amazing...i could make the mistry do this work for me in just in peanuts...i should be in consulting. For some days, the talks would be just concentrated on talking on the work undertaken, the pains went through and the masterpiece created. Since most people they talk to have undergone the same phenomenon, they are empathetic and give it a proper hearing...

No one can undermine the chaos that exists while the entire thing is happening...you requirements are reduced to bare minimum...oh i just need a bed to sleep..does not matter if the bed sheet is clean or not....just need water to wash my face....need a loo...that's it.......that explains why people push for doing all these before a major festival or a celebration in the family. Billoo ki jab shaadi hogi, tab safedi karwaani hai. That's why one gets to hear remarks like...Lalitha Ji koi khush khabari, jo aap ghar mein kaam karwa rahe ho...bahu aane waali hai kya :D. That's why people don't get it...when u say you are getting it done just like that.

The contractor needs to be really good at PR, if he wants to ensure he can make the people get even their 'wish list' done in addition to the 'must have' list or elevate them to thinking at a higher level(higher should not be spiritual..else its all doomed). You need to become part of their family, and make them feel, you are thinking about their good and you have never felt so much at home at anyone else house..that's why the Mrs Bhatia becomes "mummyji" and Mr Bhatia "pappaji"...hence u r getting things done as a son..the aunty also gets carried away by saying "tum to mere bete jaise ho"...viola what started as a minor repair ended up being an entire redo of the bathroom...bhenji aap yeh bhi badla lo...phir aapka bathroom ek dum chakachak ho jayega.

On top of all these, there needs to be lines saying, bhaiya or bhenji aap bahut simple hai, jaroorat ki cheezo ko chod ke aap ne kuch nahin karwaaya, warna log lage rehte hai ghar ko tajmahal banane mein.

Its strange that every time renovation happens we forget the earlier lessons learnt and the same story is repeated.

Inspite all these, feel renovations are good for two reasons, the same house seems different with few changes and one learns to appreciate small things again....a big bucket of warm water in winter, bed to sleep, mom's food, floor you can walk on bare foot...

2009-08-23T22:23:00.003+05:30

Ganesh Chaturthi

Tomorrow is Ganesh Chaturthi. Ramesh, who's favorite god is Ganesha looks forward to this day very eagerly each year. Each year, he will buy a new idol and for that he does not mind roaming on the streets of Ajmer till late. He does not stop his search, till he is able to see his god in an mud statue.
He will very religiously decorate the god with flowers and leaves and ensure his mother prepares Ganesha's favorite goodies.
He does not like saying good bye to his god and hence does not submerge the idol in water, instead each year he replaces the statue in his cupboard with the new idol he bought and puts the old one in the Attic.
There are currently 5 idols in the Attic. Its 12 pm at night, everyone has slept. 5 statues can see Ramesh sleeping peacefully, they know that the first thing Ramesh would do tomorrow is to go out and get an new idol. The Ganesha's in attic started talking to the Ganesha in cupboard, i wonder where Ramesh will make you sit, the attic is almost full. I hope he does not force fit you here, its already bit crowded here. Till now we managed, because we know how much he loves us. If tomorrow, he makes you sit with us, it would mean, he does not care for us.
The 5 year old Ganesha said, i don't think he will do that, i still remember when he put me here 5 years back, he was so sad to do that. He ensured the attic is all clean, he put clean paper to ensure i do not get any scratch. I am sure, Ramesh will figure out some other place.
The 1 year old Ganesh freaked out hearing this, you do not know these youngsters, their love is very superficial. For them we are just decorating pieces. Do they follow what we believe in? I remember someone gifted my statue to a couple on marriage, for them i was cute, something that would look good in their drawing room, i meant nothing more than that. I hate it when they call me the cute. They just know, how to do blind puja and at the end they always have a huge list of "wishes". God please take care of this/give me this, i will not ask you anything ever and the very next year they will have a new list, correction the next day they don't wait a whole year.
They make promises of fasting for a month, taking 100 rounds around my statue on bare feet, do i really care?
Once they do all this, its not that they stop there...they will tell about their great achievement to 100 people.
You know, my son fasted for 10 days, he is a staunch worshipper of Ganesh. Alas she does not know, her son is doing it for getting a promotion.
One hearing this, all other Ganesha's blasted the 1 year old, i know some devotees are like this, but our Ramesh is not like that. The 1 year old said, we will know tomorrow how good Ramesh is. It will be decided by the fate of the cupboard Ganesh and us.
Ramesh got up the next day at 6 am, 1 hour earlier than his normal routine, got ready quickly and rushed out of the home, told mom that he will have breakfast, only once he is back with the idol for this year.
1 year old said, see here he goes, he did not bother even to check if there is space in the attic. The other Ganeshas did not say anything.
Ramesh went to the Meena market, which was famous for murthies. In the market, he saw lot of school kids roaming around trying to find Ganesha of their liking. He felt good, seeing the enthusiasm of the kids.
Ramesh liked one Ganesh statue, in which Ganesh was depicted as writing the Mahabharatha. Ramesh called his father on cell and told him about the idol, his father was pleased and was bit amused at his son's childish enthusiasm, as if he has found some treasure.
The whole family did Ganesha Puja, the next day, time came for the Ganesha to be put in some other place. Ramesh came to his room, bowed in front of the Ganesh in the cup board, decided to make space in the attic and then shift the Ganesha.

Ramesh moved the 4 year old Ganesha bit closer to the 5 year, seeing that the 1 year old said....i told you. The other Ganeshas were still silent, as per them the agni pariksha was still not over. Ramesh realised after moving the 1 year old that the space was not enough for the Ganesha in cup board.
He put all the Ganeshas back to there older place and came down. The older Ganesha's gave a big grin to the 1 year old. The 1 year old said, the problem is still not solved, lets see what he does now.
Ramesh felt angry at himself for not having checked the space in attic, while he was walking to and fro in balcony, he saw a sparrow making a nest, he saw the sparrow gathering twigs from an abandoned nest and using it for making the nest.
Ramesh left the house without telling anyone, he came back in an hour, put all the Ganesha's in attic, the Ganesha in the cup board and the new Ganesha in his car and started driving. The 1 year old said, i think he has decided to immerse us in river....see i told you, for him also we are just pieces of decoration, which have now become not beautiful. To this comment, the 5 year old said, why is he taking the new one also then? The 1 year old could not think of why.
Ramesh stopped the car after driving a distance, the Ganeshas could see a person, making beautiful idols. Ramesh lifted each idol with care and put it on the ground and said, i would like you all to be remolded so that you can go to new houses, who need you for your blessings. I think i was stupid in trying to hold on to you. From now one, i will buy idol but return it back so that can be used to spread joy to others.

2009-06-07T21:32:00.002+05:30

Driving Test
Last weekend had gone to give driving test, my teacher knowing that i am bad at doing reverse, took 1 hour class in the morning to ensure, i am all set. Won't say the practice classes went that well...i still ended up parking the vehicle near the gutter with little space to get out. He said no one asks one to do right reverse, and u r fine in left reverse.

I was confident it will all go fine...had to wait a long time for my turn to come...finally it came...the inspector asked me to do a right reverse.... It started well then the trouble started...i think i parked the car in the middle.

I was sure, i would have flunked...but hope is a very strange thing...it never gives up till the end...the person from driving school who accompanied us asked us to call later in the evening to know the result...i knew very clearly the inspector should have failed but still...i thought maybe the inspector has a tie-up with the school and will make me pass...i promised i will take extra classes to master reverse in any case.

I could not speak to the person for some reason, later went to the school to check the result..and got to know that i have flunked...it was not a surprise at all for me...later called my teacher and told him that i failed, he told me that even he had failed for the first, felt it was very nice of him to say that.

Next time i am gonna go to give the test...gonna do reverse in istyle :)

2009-06-05T11:16:00.006+05:30

Trip to Munnar

Wanted to go on a trip with family for a long time...finally it materialised. I wanted to take care of all the bookings, so did lot of googling on the net and finally zeroed it on Destination Munnar, picked a hotel called Westwood which had amazing pictures of the views from the hotel, a dining area with a lake view...hotel surrounded by greenery...when i saw the site i could not believe i am gonna stay there...felt maybe they are just catering to foreigners.

My mother and brother finally came on sat and we left on sunday. On reaching the airport, a person from the hotel was there to pick us up...you can guess how they must have addressed my name on the board. Mr Madhu it read...i wondered, why they could not realise it was a woman and not a man. Was wondering if a guy corresponds to someone and the person assumes him as her, i am sure the guy will be offended while if its the other way round, a girl being assumed as a guy its not a big deal. Will say its because we(women) don't fuss over small stuff :)

The guy who picked us did not know hindi or english....so was interesting to correspond to him...our flight had landed in the afternoon, so we all were starving, hence asked the driver to take us to a good hotel that serves vegetarian food, the driver took us to the a hotel(i guess he had some tie up with that), the menu had all north indian dishes majority non-veg, my mom announced she will not eat and will have fruits instead, we can go ahead and have something there...on hearing her sacrifice we decide to go some where else...finally went to Sarvanana bhavan, had full meals it was amazing :) Eating on banana leaf that too food that too typical local food is awesome.

The route to munnar from cochin was amazing....did not think it will be so green...the mountains covered in a shawl of green of various shades was really beautiful...the tea plantations weaved an amazing pattern of Cris-crosses. Finally we arrived at the hotel, was surprised to find a building with not much space around..i wondered how they posted the pictures that were there on the site...on reaching the hotel room, found the room to be small contrary to how it appeared in the internet...we could all just sit or sleep in one place...no place to move...on top of that...got to hear TV from the neighbouring room...could feel the trip going on a negative spiral already.

Decided to explore some other hotels otherwise the precious vacation will be doomed..so i and my brother explored some other places...either they were too expensive or there was no room.

Decided to check places in the morning again in day light, if we do not find any other place by noon..promised to not crib anymore. With a sad heart came back...it was time to have dinner...in the menu, there were all north indian dishes instead of local specialities...who wants to eat dal makhani in kerela...felt i have become too fussy, my image of me adjusting anywhere shattered, i guess when it comes to vacation u do not want to adjust....the food was pathetic..the sambhar tasted like maggi noodles masala....could not eat anything apart from curd rice, decided that tomorrow we will definitely shift somewhere else, no one can rescue the trip from being a total disaster.

Next day, went to the tourist office, got to know about some cottages in cardamom's plantations, went there...was amazing to see the place surrounded by greenery, with no further thought...paid the advance and we rushed back to get our baggages.

On coming back...felt now the vacation starts....felt great sitting in the balcony hearing the birds talk...there was one bird whose voice was sweeter than koel...the next day went along with the women who worked on the plantations to see how cardamom plants look like...though we could not talk...as had no common language...there was a bond. The guy who picked us from airport, accompanied me as he was worried i may get lost...felt nice realising his unspoken concern. One of the worker dropped us back else we would have got lost in the jungle. The next day went to the Tea museum which showed the history of munnar and the process of making tea. Before the tea plantations...this place was mainly inhibited by muthuvan tribe...the English bought the land and converted it to tea plantations to make the best use of the land...they left out some part of the forest to serve them for their recreation....hunting tahr, tiger etc...After independence, Indian govt. took over....apart from some schools, hospitals...the geography of the place remained exactly the same.

A trip to Eravikulam natural park was very depressing...it did not firstly look like a national park...apart from the mountain goat, could not see any other species. I felt lot of the flora and fauna has been destroyed in this area....sadly things are just continuing.

Inspite of all this....loved munnar for the fresh air...the amazing greenery and the simple people of kerala. The driver as he dropped us back at airport...said for the 4-5 days he got a mother an elder brother and a sister...i knew he meant every word he said and did not say it for the heck of it...he also called us later to ensure we had reached safely.

Looking forward to another trip to Kerala, there is lot more to explore in 'God's own land'.

2009-04-30T13:18:00.005+05:30

My Father's B'day

Today is my father's b'day. Decided to take off today, as felt i should not let this day go just like an ordinary day.

When i was in school, we used to get our report cards today, this used to be the gift we use to give to father. He would always ask, mera asli gift kaha hai.

My father i would say was beyond his time, very liberal in his thoughts, who was ready to always support change. He believed in doing and not talking. I have never ever heard him talk about anything he did, i always got to know about it from others in the family or friends.

I remember my dad as someone who was totally selfless, who always put others before him. For him everyone was equal. He did not believe in caste/creed etc, he used to make friends at the drop of a hat. Thats the reason, who ever knew him remembers him even now fondly.

I love you a lot Daddy, hope some day i will be like you.

2009-04-23T18:00:00.002+05:30

Susan Boyle
Heard Susan boyle sing in youtube, it was awesome. When she walked over and the Judge Simon asked her to introduce herself. On hearing she is 47 hears old and her dream was be on the Main Page. The judges and lot of people did not think she had anything amazing to offer and i think were wondering what is she doing at that age in a competition like this.
What i liked is the way she talked about herself, and she could take the comments and the body language of the judges and reply so coolly. She was at peace with herself, it did not matter to her what others thought.

When she started to sing, everyone was transformed and i guess, ashamed of their initial judgement.
I just felt that, everyone should just do there own thing. How the world/people around take it does not matter.

2009-04-23T01:13:00.002+05:30

रिश्ते
रिश्तों की कोई सीमा नहीं
यह तो एक पतंग की तरह बस बड़ी चली जाती है
ईसे तो बस एक पवन जैसे साथी की जरूरत है, जिसके साथ मिजाज़ अच्छे से मिलते हो
फिर किसे फिकर, किस ओउर चल दिए
फिर तो बस, यह सफर ही मंजिल हो जाता है
पर जहा रिश्तो में कुछ पाने की आस हो या अपनी इच्छा थोपने की लालसा
जहा किसी और की भावना का तिरस्कार हो
वोह रिश्ते दूर तक नहीं जा पाता
मनो पतंग उडाने वाले ने अपनी ही नासमझी से पतंग कटवा दी हो
कहते है एक पाक रिश्ते में ईशवर बसता है
शायद दुनिया में एक सच्चे रिश्ते से जादा अनमोल कुछ नहीं
और एक ख़राब रिश्ते से बड़ी सज़ा कोई और नहीं

2009-03-29T18:01:00.010+05:30

Get-Together

Ganesh went to Allah's house to invite him to Saraswati's recital of sama veda on veena.

He knew his friend loved music and would not miss this performance of Saraswati at any cost.

Ganesh knocked the door, the caretaker opened the door and greeted Ganesh with a smile. Ganesh asked, where is my friend? The caretaker said, he is in the balcony. Ganesh walked to the balcony, he saw Allah reading the Earth News and he seemed really upset. Ganesh inquired, what happened my friend? Allah said, see what these idiots are up to, every day i keep reading about fights, violence at some part of the earth...no one seem to have understood what religion teaches and sadly all these are being done in the name of religion. If i had power to punish someone, i would have killed this osama guy, he is bringing so much of violence in the name of Islam, he does not even know what Quran teaches. Sadly, as per the rules In Kaliyuga, people need to learn from their mistakes, and we cannot intervene much, apart from giving them strength.

I am losing hope Ganesh, i do not think people will understand that all religions teach the same thing, why cannot people just live together happily.

Ganesh said, cheer up friend...there are people who are misleading others but there are good people too, lets not lose hope. Anyways, i came here to invite you for Saraswati's performance, she is going to play sama veda, you will love it. Allah said who else is coming? Did u invite Nanak, Jesus and the adorable Buddha?

Ganesh said, off course. Jesus really want to attend it, as he is currently reading the vedas.

That evening, in the Sur Ganga memorial hall, there was a huge rush of people, the hall was packed to the limit. Ganesh was eagerly waiting for his friends, and there he saw Jesus and Allah coming together from the left and Nanak and Buddha coming from the right. Krishna and Ram said they will be bit late, but will come for sure.

The performance was breath taking, everyone was transformed to another world.

Once the performance was over, everyone met Saraswati and praised her for her performance, they all discussed Sama veda for a while and then as everyone was about to disperse, Jesus said, hey guys lets have dinner together, how about going to Shabari's Kutti for Home Made Food?

Everyone was party to that, so everyone took their vehicles, Ganesh on his mouse, Saraswati on her Swan, Krishna/Ram on their horses. Krishna and Ram offered lift, however Allah Jesus Buddha and Nanak said they will prefer to walk and will join them 30 minutes later, they can place the usual order meanwhile.

Shabari was thrilled to see her Ram and everyone else, she warmly welcomed everyone.

Everyone sat on the floor in a circle, every month they all ensured the met once and had some good time together. Allah started the conversation by saying, every day after reading Earth Times, my temperature soars, only after doing some mediation i am able to get back to normal.

Jesus said, i understand what u feel and it scares me to think, humans are trying to find life somewhere else also, they are not able to leave peacefully in one planet, why do they want to cause more chaos by inhabiting another planet.

Allah said, this Osama driving me crazy, who is giving Muslims such a bad name, he is causing so much of destruction, earlier the most hated guy in my eyes was Saddam now its him. what can i do with followers like this...to this Ram said, i agree, in my case too, people fight in my name, do i care for a temple, these idiots brought a mosque down by saying, this is Ram Janam Bhoomi, don't they know i am in there hearts and not in a concrete building. Recently read about Mutalik, who wants all women to wear only sarees, does he know, unless women are free, no nation can say it is free. What right does anyone have to force a decision on anyone. Even Gandhi said, we can say we are free, only when women are free to walk alone at night without any fear.

This idiot does not know anything about Saint Valentine and goes about banning Valentines day saying its against our culture. How can u condemn any festival which is about love, off course it has to be celebrated in the right way. Today young generation also does not understand what love means, Love means to be selfless and these idiots get upset for petty things and abuse the person they say they love.
Recently read about a guy killing his girlfriend over a petty fight...where are we heading..i wonder.

To this Krishna's said, in dwapaar yuga, the gopis were given complete freedom to express there love to me. I wonder when again we will see this, look at the state of women, they are so much suppressed, most of them are still living in fear, confirming to society rules...whats even sadder is women seem to be hurting women instead of understanding there pains.

Jesus added to this by saying, in my case some of my missionaries are spreading Christianity by tempting people to convert, that's so shameful. Don't they know, nothing can be forced, one should follow what your heart tells you.

Buddha, who was listening to all this silently said, its written in Geetha
Yada Yada Hi Dharmasya, Glanirva Bhavathi Bharatha,
Abhyuthanam Adharmaysya, Tadatmanam Srijami Aham

Now in this Kaliyuga, instead of we taking birth, the change should come from within.
Its definitely tough for people to get of this chaos on their own and find what is the right thing to do. But in this they are not alone, as there will always be some people who will lead the way...we had people like...Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa to show the world, how life needs to be lived, what is important. Recently read about Jaago Re campaign, what that person is doing is really commendable.

There are good people, who are making a difference in there own way, i know it will take time, but we will get there.

Everyone nodded there heads in agreement and now the conversation switched to other things. Nanak asked everyone to join the next day at 4.30 am for Prabhat feries, Jesus asked everyone to come to church coming Sunday, there was a special lecture on Love.

At the end, everyone asked Saraswati to sing something, Saraswati started singing "Vaishnava Janato Tene Kahiye..."

2009-03-07T22:07:00.002+05:30

Luck By Chance

Saw the movie Luck By Chance, really liked the story line and what was conveyed in it. The pressures of being successful has an impact of lot of people, very few people remain true to themselves and do not change at all.

Will look forward to more movies from Zoya Akhtar. We need directors like her :)
As always Konkana is amazing, i have started liking Farhan as an actor, hope he acts in more movies.

2009-03-03T20:57:00.002+05:30

Paani

Paani ki tarah waqt ke har saache mein woh dhal gayi
Kabhie pateelein mein to kabhie chote se gilaas mein
kabhie usse laga hi nahin ki mere liye ek alag saacha hona chahiye
mein kisi bhi saache mein nahin daali ja sakti

Waqt ne jis haal rakha us haal mein mast maula ho gayi
kabhie pyaali se chalak jaane ki zid nahin ki
kabhie dukaan mein sazi alag alag pyaaliyon par uski nazar hi nahin gayi
uske liye har pyaala ek samaan tha
malik in jisme daala woh kubool
Yeh jaante huve bhi ki woh malik ki laadali thi
Aur usse hak tha zid karne ka

Peene waalo ne kaha bahut anand aur sukoon mila
Par usse pata nahin sukoon kise khete hai
Kaisa lagta hai usse paane par
logo ki tript aakhein dekh ke lagta usse
ki yeh ehsaas jananat se shayad kam nahin

Mujhe darr hai woh bas aise hi jiye jaayegi
kya usse koi milega jo usse sambhal ke ek sahi botal mein rakh sake
Jo uski har boond ki sahi kimat jaane
aur unhe yu hi nahin fuzul logo mein na batne de
Jin ke liye woh bas ek shaam ki pyaali hai

2009-01-31T20:08:00.001+05:30

TV ka swayamvar

Beena ne nishchay kiya ki woh apne ghar ka puraana EC TV badal ke naya TV khareedengi.

TV ab 15 saal ki ho gayi thi, par koi usse dekh kar uski umar ka pata nahin kar sakta tha, aaj bhi woh sabah se raat tak sabki ichhayein poori karti, subah maaji jo Aasha Ram babuji ke pravachan sunaati, phir beena ke sasur ko, saare desho ki khabaar alag alag channel pe baar baar sunaati, dophaar mein beena aur maaji ko soaps dekhaati, taaki woh apne poore din ki thakaan bhool sake, ya yeh serials dekh ke woh mehsoos kare ki hum kitne khush hai, shaam ko chintu ko pogo waale serials, shaam ko beena ke pati Ashok ko CNBC mein sensex ka haal baati aur phir raat ko saare K waale serials sabko dekhaati. Roz usse soone mein late ho jaata, par usse kabhie is baat ka shikwa nahin tha.

Uski dost bijli ko kabhie kabhie us pe taras aa jaata aur who chali jaati, taaki TV ko break mil sake. Jab TV ne suna ki beena naya TV laane ka soch rahi hai, to woh udaas ho gayi, usse laga ab mera kya hoga, kya mujhe yeh log bech denge ya kisi ko de denge? Uski bahut yaadein thi is ghar se, maano usse apne ghar se hi nikaalne ki saazish ho rahi thi.

Dheere Dheere yeh baat ki beena naya TV lene waali hai,poore mohalle mein fyle gayi.
Phir kya tha, puraane TV lene waalo ki line lag gayi, Doodh waale ne Doodh mein paani daalna kam kar diya, kaamwaali ne chutti lena band kar diya aur bartan aur man se dhoone lagi, post master bhi ghar pe taala hone par baar baar chakkar laga ke chitti ussi din de jaata.

Beena aur parivaar waalon ne tay kiya ki TV sahi umeedwar ko hi denge, jo sachha ho.
Sabko laga duniya mein bas sab matlabi hai, jaha faayda hai waha log achhe ban jaate hai...phir sabka dyaan rickshaw waale par gaya jo chintu ko roz school se laata tha.
Jisne kabhie kisi tyohaar par kuch nahin maanga, jo diya usme khush ho gaya.

Agle din jab rickshaw waale ne chintu ko aawaz di, beena ne usse aawaz diya aur bola bhaiya aap itwaar ko ghar aana, aapse kuch kaam hai.

Us itwaar ko, Beena ne TV ko achhe se pack kiya aur bola, tumhe aaj ek achhe insaan ke ghar jaana hai, hum sab ko tumhe bhejte huve dukh hai par aasha hai tum naye ghar mein wohi khushiyan doogi hai jo tumne hame diya hai. Yeh sun ke TV khush huvi, aur man mein boli, didi mein aapka bharosa kabhie nahin todoongi.

Rickshaw waale ne ghanti dabaayi, beena ne usse andhar bulaaya aur usse bithaake chai pilaaya aur usse bola bhaiya yeh box ghar le jaana. Rickshaw waalen ne poocha ki isme kya hai, beena muskoraayi aur boli, khol ke khud hi dekh lo. Rickshaw waale ne jab khola to dekha ki bakseh mein TV hai. Woh khush ho gaya aur uski aakhein num ho gayi aur woh khush hooke bola hamare poore mahaale mein kisi ke paas TV nahin hai, ab sab mil ke dekhenge. Dhanyawaad.

TV bhi yeh sun ke khush ho gayi ki woh ab bahut logo ko khush karne waali hai.

2009-01-01T20:04:00.000+05:30

Happy New Year

Wish you all a very happy new year!!

This year started with my being at my laziest best :) But i guess now i am completely charged up.

Lets live by being totally in present
No thoughts of past or future
Lets make plans, dream, but lets not get sad if they do not materialize
After all its how you played that matters, right?
Lets play the instrument in of life in perfect soulful tune
It does not matter how long or short the performance is, its the bliss one feels while its being played that matters!!

So lets all of us rock in our own ways :)

2008-12-11T09:07:00.000+05:30

Morning Walk-A story

Sheela had been teaching in Khalsa Collega for 10 years now. The same college where she had studied. She was a asocial person, her life revolved mainly around her job and her love Hindi literature.

It was not that she was like this always, things changed 10 years ago when she refused to marry the guy selected by her family, when they asked for dowry. Her parents disowned her, as they did not see anything wrong in dowry, per them her being more educated is causing problem finding a match and no guy wants a more educated girl than him. This is when Sheela left home for good and came to Delhi. She stayed with her friends initially, till she could find a job.

She was at peace with herself now and contented in her small world. Her routine consisted of getting up in the morning, going for a walk, after coming back enjoy hot cup of tea sitting in the balcony while listening to her favorite carnatic classical music. Making breakfast, getting ready and then rushing to college. After coming back, a short nap followed by a cup of tea along with the daily newspaper. Though she was staying in kamala nagar for nearly 8 years, apart from the usual hello, kaise hai aap, she did not make friends with anyone. Somehow i feel, she liked it this way only, living life in own terms, no intervention of any kind.

Dec 10th was like any other day, while Sheela was sipping her evening tea, she heard the door bell, she found her neighbour Lata Aunty along with her new bahu Alka, who was all dressed up, the way nayi Dulhans are supposed to be. Lata said, aapko shaadi ki mitaayi deni thi aur apni bahu se milaana tha. Lata apni bahu se boli, bete, yeh Khalsa college mein Hindi padaati hai. Alka who was till now very shy and reserved, looked around the house and was thrilled to see so many books and she bursted out saying loud that aapke paas to bahut kitaabein hai, meine bhi BA Hindi kiya tha, MA karna tha par shaadi ho gayi.

Sheela thought to herself, how many girls lose their ambitions because of marriage. She felt bit sad for this kid and also felt happy thinking that good she did not let anyone make decisions for her.

Next day as Sheela was coming back from her walk, she met Alka, they had a small talk and Alka said aap roz walk pe jaati hai, mein bhi aaongi kal aapke saath. Sheela gave her an artificial smile and came back, she hated the prospect of company, she felt her morning walk will be all spoilt now. She could not think of a way out of this, she felt i am sure Alka has this enthusiasm of getting up only for a day, it will wear out...she really hoped thats how it will be. Even if she comes, she was sure she will be bored by her company soon.

Next day, Alka came 5 am sharp to Sheela's place and rang the bell, Sheela was surprised to see that Alka knew the exact time she normally went for a walk.
Sheela got her earphones, thinking i do not want my quiet morning walk be spoiled because of company, i do not want to hear about the usual gossip usne woh kaha etc. As they started walking, she realised that Alka did not utter a word, she was just focussed on walking and being with the nature. After the walk, they both sat on a bench, Alka told her about her mother's house, how it was growing up in Meerut, the entire area where she lived was like an extended family, she also told her about her favorite author Mahadevi Verma, the way she had brought to life so many animals for e.g. gillu,bhussa, making one realise that animals are so unconditional in there love compared to humans.

Sheela just listened to Alka's thoughts and found some resonance in her thoughts with hers.

Days passed like this, they met for morning walks, Sheela did not make any efforts from her side to know Alka more. She did not want to create any emotional attachment with Alka.

Winter was slowing coming to Delhi, because of the season change, Sheela got bit of sore throat accompanied by fever. Every time the session change, she always used to get this, this time however it seemed to be bit severe. Next day, she did not wake up for the morning walk. Alka came to her house as usual and saw Sheela still in bed looking weak. Alka made Kaada for Sheela and told her that, today she should just rest.

Alka got the lunch and started telling Sheela about the recent movie she watched and why she liked it. Sheela found it interesting that Alka did not like movies just for the usual emotional crap, she liked it for the characters and the storyline.

The next day Alka came by to inquire about Sheela's health. This time her husband also came with her and he said, if there is any help needed, she should not hesitate asking them.

Sheela felt good thinking that there is someone who cared for her. She decided that from now on, she will also make an effort to know Alka more.

Sheela started getting a book for the morning walks, so that she can read out to Alka, they usually had interesting discussions regarding the characters, giving Sheela think about the same characters in a different point of view. For Alka too, the morning walks were her favorite part of the day, it was the only time she had time only for herself, she was still getting used to her new life of being a wife, daugher-in-law...Alka said one day to Sheela, mein aapko Di bolaaongi ab se....Sheela smiled hearing this.

Time just went like this, Sheela who never opened up to anyone found a friend in this 21 year old. Alka found a elder sister in Sheela who motivated her and shared with her a different world/thoughts.

Sheela was all set to go for her walk and was waiting for Alka to come, its been 10 mins past 5, there was no door bell. She wondered what might have happenned, she hoped all was fine. Sheela went for a walk alone that day and did not like it a bit, instead of her circling the park with its cemented paths, the usual three times, she circled it once and then came back. The new bloom of flowers could not arose her spirits, the flowers felt sad as their old friend did not notice there new attire.

In the evening, she was surprised to find Alka's mother in law standing at her door, she asked her to come in and then she realised why Alka did not turn up in the morning. Her husband had got transferred to Agra and she was upset at the thought of going from this place, hence she did not come for the walk. Sheela was also upset, she felt she now again has to learn being alone. She wrapped some of Alka'a favourite books and thought of giving them as farewell gifts.

The next day, as she was getting ready to go for her walk alone, reminding herself she needs to be on her own again, she heard a door bell and saw Alka smiling, Alka said, Di mujhe maaf karna ki mein kal nahin aayi, i was upset, then i realised how can i spoil the remaining days i have with you, thinking about something of which i have no control. I have told my husband tomorrow i will spend the entire day with you, so let's plan out later after our walk what all we should do.

The day of going came, Sheela gave Alka the books and Alka gave Sheela a saree.They both were smiling, no one was sad, they knew there friendship will continue for long, this is not the end.

2008-12-10T05:26:00.000+05:30

Back Home
I am back home after a stint of 8 months in US. The longest i have stayed from home till now. Not that i was home sick, just wanted to take a break or should i say escape from the rut of work work work. Not that the work was crazy its a combination of how much people acknowledge efforts. In here by people i refer to clients.
One needs to think of work as just a job and nothing more i guess. My colleague told me once that in consulting we are like waiters, serve them, if they do not like it accept it politely and serve them again...will never form such mindset by choice.

My visit to Delhi is marked by doing three things always.
1. Go to CP, go to a music shop, book shops and clothes shop, take a walk through the emporiums, i always find something interesting to pick there
2. Go to Kaleva in Gol Market and buy mirchi waale chips :)
3. Go to Ashok Vihar for random shopping

When i go to the shops near my home, i meet the shopwaalas who have seen me when i was a kid, can feel the warmth in their smile :). One shopwaala asked me bete tumhari padaayi ho gayi, i told him woh to kab ki ho gayi, ab job karti hu...thank god he did not ask the next obvious question in line.

This time, i took the metro to go to CP. Was surprised to see people had queued to board the train, you may think its a simple thing,but if u know the delhiwaala's its a big achievement in making them form a line :). Normally in metros, there is announcement that be careful of pickpocketing etc, in delhi u will also hear 'people do not push your co passengers while getting down' message...this is the trade mark of delhities, impatience is the middle name. Was wondering what an foreigner will feel hearing this message.

In this trip could meet lot of my close friends, had real nice time being with them, those are my cherished memories of this time's visit. Now looking forward to going to b'lore.

2008-11-01T23:39:00.000+05:30

Cannot believe it happen to me

This weekend had made plans to go somewhere, which i had to cancel at the last minute, because of some work. One my friend suggested lets go for a movie, and i jumped on the offer as its been while since i went out and wanted to get some compensation for not going for the planned trip.

So we saw a musical, which was nice. On the return, had dinner at an amazing indian restaurant, when the time came to pay the bill, i realised i do not have my wallet. Realised i had left it in the movie hall.
We rushed back fast, the manager said since a movie was going, only one of you can go in and check. I was damn sure i will get it back, so was not at all worried...prayed to god...bagwaan bas is baar wapis dilaado, i promise will be careful moving forward and i promise i will be a good girl...etc etc

My friend went to search the place, i was wondering why its taking so much time, i thought maybe he is doing some entries. He came back and said he could not found it and he thinks its stolen. We spoke to the manager, she said we can come at midnight to check again, chances are less we will find it.

Its then i felt, it may happen to me. I was still hopeful that we may still find it.
We came back home, my friend said block the cards. I was thinking should wait for us to go back again, as i was still sure i will get it. On his suggestion, decided to block as safety measure.

I knew my US account number but had no clue about my indian cards...was thinking they may not block as i do not even know the account number, was relieved when they searched based on my name/address and finally blocked it.

We went back at midnight, searched again, realised it has really happenned to ME, ME?.

Few months back my friend had come, and while we were travelling in a car, someone broke the car and stole her purse. I was impressed by how organised she was, as she had all her numbers handy. At that time i had resolved to note all my card details, being a stupid optimistic that i am, i kept on postponing it thinking mere saath nahin ho sakta :-)

Lets hope this incident rubs some wisdom on me :)

2008-10-12T00:11:00.001+05:30

Panic Attacks
Its been a while since i got a panic attack, recently experienced one :)
Last weekend was busy tuning some script, which had to be run the next week.
I was satisfied with what i did and was 100% confident that things will go smooth.

Finally the D-Day came and i was asked to run the script. To my surprise i found that the script is just getting stuck and not doing anything...i was zapped.
Felt i have brought dishonor for the company, as now the clients will start pointing figures at the capability of people...was thinking i have really put my Sr Mgr in a tight spot, not sure how he will defend.

Started looking at it, could not find any issue...concluded must be something majorly wrong in the server. A friend of mine dropped in and he proved to be the angel in disguise, he helped identify a small mistake which caused the entire issue to occur. I was so relieved and thanked him profusely.

This incident reminded me of few other incidents in past, where in someone presence made all the difference.

The feeling that someone is there with you, is more than enough sometimes.

2008-09-08T02:45:00.000+05:30

Good Old Song
An amazing song from real old time...i am dying to hear this song :-)

Kuchh aur zamana kehata hai, kuchh aur hai zid mere dil ki - 2
mein baat zamane ki manoo, ya baat sunu apne dil ki

kuchh aur zamana kehata hai...

duniya ne hamein berahami se
thukara jo diya, achcha hi kiya - 2
nadaan hum samajhe baithe the -2
nibhati hai yahaan dil se dil ki

kuchh aur zamana kehata hai...

insaaf, mohabbat, sachchaai -2
wo rahmo-karam ke dikhlaave
kuchh kahate zabaan sharmaati hai -2
poochho na jalan mere dil ki

kuchh aur zamana kehata hai...

go basti hai insaano ki
insaa magar dhoondhe na mila -2
paththar ke buton se kya keeje -2
fariyaad bhalaa toote dil ki

Kuchh aur zamana kehata hai, kuchh aur hai zid mere dil ki - 2
mein baat zamane ki manoo, ya baat sunu apne dil ki

kuchh aur zamana kehata hai...

2008-08-11T00:17:00.000+05:30

What do u want to be
What are u turning to

Can you call yourself a human
Or in this mad rush you are just being a cork in the wheel
Who blames the world for everything wrong
or pity's the situation one is in

Why is having your own personal space so important
Aren't u too created invisible boundaries,huh?

Why is being heard so important, why cannot you listen instead
Instead of finding flaws why cannot you see the unique traits first

Stop, sit back and ponder is this living all about?

2008-06-28T11:04:00.000+05:30

Shopping Adventure
Recently had gone out for shopping, and in a rush to find a fitting room, i got in a room which had iron piece sticking out instead of proper lock handle, there was a paper stuck saying 'do not lock the door'.

I thought to myself, i think everything is fine just the fancy door lock is not here...i can manage in this fitting room do not have to find another one...so with a geeky smile i pushed the iron piece..and viola i had locked the room, wisdom stuck me soon and i thought lets confirm if i can open it too, so i tried pushing the iron piece in opposite direction and was happy to note i can open the door...was happy with my ability to come up with a work around :)

I tried the dresses and when i was about to get out realised that i could not unlock the door...felt so embarrassed..what will i say if someone asks me did u not read the note on the door, DO NOT LOCK YOURSELF...tried couple of things and then finally gave up, so called the supervisor...he called in someone who had lot of keys to see if the door can be unlocked..then one of the attendants came inside from the space below the door to see what the issue is.

I told her that i can get out the say way she got in...so i crawled out from the door..my friend was standing outside and was totally zapped to see me crawling on the floor :-)

I promised myself next time will follow instructions :)

2008-05-31T22:14:00.000+05:30

Re-Union

On the long weekend, i had gone to meet my friends from MCA days and a friend from work...I was looking forward to this meeting for such a long time, was meeting my friend at work after an year and the highlight of meeting my MCA friends was, we were all meeting at one friend's place and one my friend who stays in US was visiting my other friends home for the first time.

So i landed on NY Friday morning, was not expecting my friend to wait till i dropped it, before heading for office, it was nice seeing him wait for me to reach :) Walking on NY roads, reminded of India...NY people share the same impatience that u find in India.

My friend and his roommate like proper host made breakfast and then headed for work...while they were away i just listened to music and slept off.
In the evening, my friend made a cocktail called long island which i had promised i would taste, after few sips could feel my head spinning so stopped, my friend experimented his culinary skills on me(which i must say was good :), we saw a movie and then slept off. The very next day i had to go to NJ to meet my friend, so that i could go with her family to Virginia. I got up early, decided i will go on my own to the train station as it was bit early....after walking for a while, i felt maybe i am lost as the distance seemed longer compared to what i experienced when i came there for the first time. One more time my direction sense let me down :(

Anyways...finally made it on time for the train.

My friend picked me up and we all started our 6 hrs journey to Virginia, on the way we chatted, listened to some good music.

We finally reached around 6, my friend's kids were very happy to reach, as it was pretty long journey for them, must say there were amazing throughout the journey.
My friend's daughter commented on the way, its been a while since we were in anyone'
s home :)

It felt so great to meet everyone at the same place, it did not feel at all that we are meeting after a long time, it just seemed as if we are transformed back in time...The friend at whose home we met was perfect perfect host, she was all the time worried to ensure we had proper food, she will just think in terms of what to make the next day etc...I felt, how would i be if someone came to my place? Can i be like her?

You know what, her cleanliness has rubbed off a bit on me, i am trying to keep my place tidy after coming back from there.. :)

At night once the kids have slept, we all(4 of us) will end of chatting till 2, it felt like the same old MCA days, when we would meet for some assignments or birthday's. It felt nothing has changed since then, more or less we are the same set of people, just bit more wiser now i guess :) The two days we stayed there seemed so long, as we ended up doing so many things, going out, chatting till late, eating, watching movie :)

On Monday, my friend dropped me back in Washington, even the journey back was great, the route was beautiful, we talked in general...

Took my flight from DC, while coming back had to mentally prepare myself to the "real" world :)

2008-05-29T07:31:00.001+05:30

Surprise

This Monday i got back from the long weekend late night, as i was coming back in cab, only thing i could think of was my bed...i wanted to reach soon and just crash...
Finally reached my abode, saw a message on the door from the apartment manager, call me...i thought this must be because of the non-payment of rent, decided to call her first thing tomorrow.

As i entered my room, i was surprised to find the decor of the house changed, the book shelf has been moved from its usual location...on looking closer i realised that the shelf was empty, all my stuff was not there...then i saw the bathroom was sealed and some machine was making weird noise...and realised none of my stuff is there in the apartment, not even the food stuff.

Various thoughts ran my mind...something broke that's why they had to seal the bathroom, i couldn't understand why they emptied the kitchen..another thought came, am i being thrown out of this place because of non-payment, the manager must have been real mad, hence she confiscated all my stuff and has locked it some here...then i imagined myself making a dramatic statements saying is this how u treat fellow human beings just because there was a delay in payment...i cannot stay here even for a day now blah blah...and would walkout of the place with my stuff the next day.

Decided to sleep and get up early and call up the manager. So next day called the manager, got to know that there was a leak and they had to shift my stuff to another apartment late sat night, she gave me the keys for the new apartment and apologised for the trouble.
When i got in my new room, was amazed to see that she had put things exactly the same way as i had kept. I was really touched by her action.

2008-05-11T22:15:00.000+05:30

Being Treated as Beggar

I normally take buses to reach office, few days back as i left from home to go the bus stop, i realised i do not have 1.5 dollars as change, the smallest note i have is a 5 dollar note. I knew in the bus ticketing slot u need to give exact money,as there is no provision for getting money back.

I felt lets see whether i get bus or cab first, if i take a cab i will have to pay more money, so in a way putting the 5 dollars would be a smart move :)

Guys do u like my logic? tell me, i am smart nah :)

So i boarded the bus, put the 5 dollars note, the machine got confused..it still kept saying drop one quarter or something..the bus driver looked and said, what did u put..i told him i put 5 dollar note, he was shocked...he said u should have given the note to me, and i would have given change. I said its fine(as that was the deal i had with myself)

He said, he will get me the money back, so as soon as the bus stopped at the next stop and people got in, he asked one guy as he was putting money to give the money to me.
The guy was zapped, he gave me such a weird look and started walking further, the driver shouted at him, either buy ticket or give the money to this lady. He shouted by why should i give it to her? I told him the entire story, he handed me the 1.5 dollars and it seemed his mood was all Tipsy-Topsy because of this incident.
He shouted back at driver, you should have explained.

At the next stop, again a lady entered..the same thing happened, she also gave me a weird look and then after telling her what happened she gave me the money.

I was not expecting the driver to do all this, but in a way felt just touched by his gesture to be fair. And also wondered why the people gave me such weird looks :)
They must be thinking she is some immigrant lost and looking for money and this driver not sure why has agreed to help her.

It was a funny experience.

2008-05-03T21:02:00.000+05:30

Weird Experiences

I am real bad at roads/directions and if i have someone with me...i will never bother to remember the route. I am in SF right now and have a friend with whom i normally go to office...so i never bothered to remember it properly. One day i had to go on my own, i knew the address was 845 broadway and my friend had shown me the bus stop...so i reached there way ahead of time..got into the bus..was really proud of myself on my time management skills.i knew from the bus stop i have to walk a while to reach office...so i started walking, i reached the street but could not locate the office..asked few people..they guided me...alas still no sign of THE destination.

Finally got tired, also was getting tensed as i hate coming late for meetings. So i decided to take a cab...i got into the cab, the cab guy asked me where i need to go...told him the address, he said its very near..better go by foot...so with a dissappointment of a kid,whose parent has switched off the tv and asked him/her to go and study. I got down, cursing him why does he care when i am ready to pay.
I started searching again...but alas i could ses 843 but than 847...there was no buildings with middle numbers...i decided to test another cab guy...so took another cab, told him i need to go to 845 broadway...told him i am really tired...even if its very near i want to go via cab only..its been 30 mins since i am searching for it.
We searched for a while, then he said are u sure you have the right address? I was like..what do u mean? I, I cannot do such mistake...no way..for some reason the number 845 was soo clear on my head.

Since it was getting late, i thought let me check..as usual i did not have any paper/document which had the address..and i did not have a cell to call anyone. Luckily i had a friend's number..as normally i don't have that too :).

I borrowed the cab guy's phone and called a friend...asked him the address...he said 345 broadway. I could not believe it...why did 845 sound so right to me, from where did i get that number....no clue.

I wonder, if i am like this now...i wonder how it will be when i grow old :)

2008-04-26T11:15:00.000+05:30

Now that my dear friend J has tagged me...here are the answers to Tagged: Wanna know me more?

Last Movie You Saw In A Theater:
Taare Zameen Par, an amazing movie

What Book Are You Reading:
I am reading Rani by Jaishree Misra, this talks about Jhansi ki Rani

Favorite Board Game:
Scrabble or Connect four

Favorite Magazine:
Tehelka(though have seen few issues)

Favorite Smells:
Smell of Mud after Rain

Favorite Sound:
Wind chimes, chirping birds

Worst Feeling In The World:
Someone doubting your integrity

What Is The First Thing You Think Of When You Wake? :
Can sleep for some more time

Favorite Fast Food Place:
Aloo Tikki

Future Child's Name:
Cannot think in soo future :)

Finish This Statement. "If I Had A Lot Of Money I'd...”:
Open a school, do something for children, travel

Do You Drive Fast? :
I do not drive :)

Do You Sleep With A Stuffed Animal?:
No

Storms-Cool Or Scary? :
Scary

What Was Your First Car?:
My father's first car was fiat.

Favourite drink:
Sugarcane juice or lemon juice

Finish This Statement, "If I Had The Time I Would .....” :
Travel

Do You Eat The Stems On Broccoli?:
Nopes

If You Could Dye Your Hair Any Color, What Would Be Your Choice? :
Won't dye my hair

Name All The Different Cities/Towns You Have Lived In
Delhi, Rajkot, Calcutta, Bangalore, SF, London, Sendai,Denver,
Atlanta

Favorite Sports To Watch:
None

One Nice Thing About The Person Who Sent This To You:
Amazing person who is very warm and has an amazing attitude, someone who looks ahead and not behind

What's Under Your Bed?:
Nothing

Would You Like To Be Born As Yourself Again?
Yes

Morning Person Or Night Owl?:
Night owl

Over Easy Or Sunny Side Up?:
Over Easy

Favorite Place To Relax:
In nature, preferably near water

Favorite Pie:
i don't like pie

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor:
Coffee Mocha

Of All The People You Tagged This To, Who's Most Likely To Respond First?
Have tagged none yet

2008-04-21T04:31:00.000+05:30

A Quote
Ignorance is God's prison
Knowing is God's palace.

We sleep in God's unconsciousness.
We wake in God's open hand.

We weep God's rain.
We laugh God's lightning.

Fighting and peacefulness
both take place within God.

-Rumi

2008-03-29T22:18:00.000+05:30

Khwaab
Khwaab to meine bahut sazaayein hai
Dekhna hai yeh zindagi mujhe haraati hai
ya meri dost ban ke mera saath deti hai

Wada hai yeh ki mein dil se kheloongi yeh baazi
har mushkil ko boojhongi jaise ho koi unsujzi paheli

Ab na jaaongi kisi mandir ya masjid kuch duva paane
meri jhooli mein woh hi bharna jis pe mera hak hai
chahe wo gam ho ya ho khushi
khaati hu kasm ab na karoongi koi sawaal ya shikwa
nat mastak ho ke sweekaroongi tumhara har faisla
par ek shart hai zindagi, tum bhi sachhe tareekein se khelna

Aaj kafn baad kar chali hu akele
Ya to apni manzil pe pahuchoongi apne shartoon pe
nahin to is khel is nikal jaaongi apni haar sweekarte huve
par yeh waada hai mera tum kabhie nahin paaonge mujhe
tumhare shartoon pe jeete huve

2008-03-22T23:50:00.000+05:30

Inward Journey-A Story

Kavita had just finished her 12th exams and now she was gearing herself for engineering entrance exams. Her father felt it will be good if she gets domicile certificate, so that in worst case she can get a seat in maharashtra. Though kavita disliked the idea of getting admission because of quota, she wanted to get a seat purely on merit and in no other way...but the thought of going to kohali, a small town where her father grew up appealed to her a lot, and she felt it will be a great family outing if nothing else...she will get to see her father's school etc...

So the bowkar family decided to make a small trip to kohali to get the domicile certificate. It was not a direct journey, they had to go from calcutta to mumbai and then take a train to kohali. They decided to stop at kavita's mausi's place before heading further.
It was monsoon season in mumbai, this year the gods were really pouring cats and dogs.. Kavita's mom's plans of going for shopping had to be shelfed.

The night prior to there journey, Kavita's baba's fell sick, he had high fever, Kavita's mom felt no point going to kohali now, maybe its god's wish. Kavita's father was a practical man and did not believe in destiny crap...he said, we should do what we came for, so the family decided that Kavita and her mom will go while her father stayed back.

Kavita's mausi's gave them address of her friend who was teaching in kohali....most of there relatives were now either in metro's or in US...

The journey from mumbai to kohali was beautiful...lot of farms, with small cute house s in the middle, one could see the kids playing merrily, kavita felt like getting down and running in the farms...alas she could not...she was so tempted to pull the chain...then the thought of a dose from her mom made her get back to the boring real world.

Finally the train reached there destination, they took an auto to reach mausi's friend Sita's place. They asked someone on the road for direction and they said, oh aap ko madam ke ghar jaana hai, hum pahucha dete hai. Kavita was amazed to see how well known sita was in this place.

Finally the reached sita's home. The rang the bell, a girl came to open the house, asked them to sit and said sita didi will come in a second, do they want anything.
the house was well kept with minimal furniture, kavita started imagining how this sita female will look like, she thought must be some 40 plus aunty, who is so conscious of her age that she forces everyone to call aunty and she must be very strict in school thats why everyone knows her. she also felt what kind of person is she, she knew we are coming still she did not bother to keep herself free.

As she was thinking all this, a girl wearing a pink punjabi suit came in and said, maaf keejeyega mein aap ko khud receive nahin kar paayi, subah kuch bachhe padne aate hai...unke exams hai kal se so postpone nahin kar paayi...

Kavita could not believe she is Sita, she looked like 26 yr old. Her mom had told her that sita was around 35. Her pleasing face and geninue warmth cleared all perceptions kavita formed till then...

Sita said, aap log fresh ho jaye, aunty aap aaram keejiye, mein kavita ke saath jaake certificate ka kaam dekh loongi. On there way kavita, told sita about her plans...why she wanted to be an engineer, what all she wants to do etc...kavita could not believe how freely she could talk to sita, and she did not seem that elder.

The certificate thing got done quickly, kavita was amazed to see how much people in govt. office, respected sita. Kavita felt, if she was not there, the staff would have taken there own sweet time. Kavita asked sita on there way back, aap kya padi ho? She felt sita must have done M.Sc. in literature or something, Sita said, she studied biotechnology from B'lore university, and also did M.S. from IISc. Kavita was amazed, Sita could guess the question kavita had in her mind, what are u doing here in small city?

Sita said, she had worked few years in a research laboratory, somehow she could not fit in that environment, wherein there was so much of competitiveness and manipulation and that's when she decided to come home. Her parents were no more now, she loves this place so much that, now she cannot think of leaving this place.

On there way back, they had gol-gappas and kavita was happy her mom was not there with them, else she would have never allowed her to eat road side food.

In the evening, they all went to a temple nearby, kavita liked the ambience of the small city.
Kavita's mom told her to sleep early as they had to catch the early morning train...kavita's was really not in mood to sleep....alas she had to, she said, ma, do u know sita didi has done bio-tech? Kavita's mom said, i know...she was really very bright, its sad that the big city could not do justice to her talent.

Next day, as they were ready to go, Sita handed Kavita a small statue of god ganesha and presented her a book, and blessed her that may all your dreams come true.
Kavita was really touched to receive gifts from sita, who barely knew her. She hugged Sita and said, aap hamare ghar jaroor aana.

As Kavita said farewell to sita and got into the auto, she could not control herself and she started crying, she herself could not understand what is making her cry, why is she feeling so sad....her mother tried to console her on the way, beta kya huva...
she said ma, pata nahin...didi ek din mein hi itni apni ho gayi ki bas aasoo aa gaye.

In the train, she thought about sita...felt sad that her dreams could not come true and she had to compromise her life in some ways...then she thought maybe this was better, having someone like her must have been a blessing for so many kids on kohali.

With these thoughts...she looked it the book given by sita, it was a book written by abdul kalam azad titled 'wings of fire'....on the front cover sita had written a note , follow your heart and do not doubt your dreams, it will take you to your destination.

Kavita said to herself, ha didi mein pakka apna khwab poora karoongi.

2008-03-14T23:20:00.000+05:30

Ghar aaya mera Pardesi-A Story

On friday night, Sunita got back from work, for some reason she did not
feel like eating, so just had a warm cup of tea to refresh herself and then she went to her apartment terrace to be with nature, for her night was a true friend, who is always there in ever listening mode and who is always trying to cheer one up via gentle breezes as if trying to tickle, making one realize there is a brand new day ahead, so forget what happened...relax and look forward to tomorrow.

She remembered 5 yrs back how her life was in city, weekdays busy with work and on weekends full time pass with friends...slowly how she lost touch with her friends and how everyone got scattered.Its been 2 yrs since she moved to her small town, working in a small bank. She has a simple life style, no tensions of any kind...everyone is warm but sometimes she misses those old times.

With these thoughts she turned to bed, and she thanked her friend night for reminding her that tomorrow is a brand new day with new hopes.

Next day at work, the peon asked her to come to the manager's office, as there was a trunk call for her. She was surprised to hear she got a call, that too out of station. Who will be remembering her she thought?

She picked the phone and with hesitation said hello, from the other side she heard, Hey remember me i am amit? We worked together in ICICI bank in delhi. Then the bulb lit for sunita and she could recollect amit...at one point of time he was her best friend. She was thrilled to talk to him after such a long time. Amit told her that ICICI bank is thinking of opening a branch in her town, so he will be dropping on next Wednesday and he would love to meet her. Sunita was thrilled at the idea of meeting her friend after so many years...4 yrs to be precise.

In the evening, once she got back..she thought of what all she would like to do once amit is here...she decided to leave office early that day and take amit to the nearby beach, as she remembered how much amit liked water and then she thought she will take him to the famous Aap ki Khatir restaurant...she was sure amit will love that food and then they can just talk about the good old days etc... Suddenly she saw the time then she realised its mid-night, she laughed at how time flew while she was day dreaming...that day she did not need her friend night for solace, she knew the coming days are gonna be great.

As the wednesday got nearer, one can see a significant change in sunita, whoever she met, she will tell them about her friend's visit.

Finally wednesday came, sunita wore one of her best suits and went to office, looking forward to the meeting. Finally the call came around 12. Amit said, he will be coming near her office around 3, can she meet her than. Around 2.30, sunita packed her things and told her colleagues she is leaving early, her friends were happy to see her leave early at least one day.

So finally they met at a coffee shop, as soon as sunita saw amit, she was transported to the old days, nothing seem to have changed. They had general chit-chat about what all was happening in there lives, sunita asked what is his plan for the evening, she said we can go to beach and then dinner...Amit said his boss was with him, so he cannot come, maybe next time he comes. Sunita was bit shattered, but she did not let that show on her face. Amit said he now has to leave, with that he left.

Sunita slowly collected herself and left for home. That day she felt, maybe she is still living in past, while everyone who was with her has moved on with there lives.
She went to the terrace, to be with the night....the wind started blowing slowly...the gentle breeze subsided her. Then she thought, may be she is overacting, nothing has changed...it does not matter if the day did not turn the way she expected, she should not spoil her relation thinking he has changed, she should just be more open and less expecting.

With those thoughts she turned to bed, with hope next time amit comes,he has some time.

2008-02-25T00:01:00.000+05:30

Object of Affection
My friend J tagged me to write about Object of Affection.
Believe me or not...my object of affection has been pens and notebooks for a long time.

I just love exploring the different pens in a stationery shop and checking the different notepads..see which one has real smooth pages.

If you think this is crazy hear this.
When i was a kid, used to get pocket money of about 20 Rs. I used to save that money and buy a thick register which had real smooth pages...it used to be like a prized possession earned with hard earned money. My brother on the contrary used to blow the pocket money on the same day, he will pick a chocolate, packet of chips and enjoy his afternoon after school eating all that while reading a book. I would just go and beg him to give me some, and normally he used to share his stuff...must say had a decent bro ;)

At the start, i would write beautifully...slowly the book will seem not that new and there would be a decline in my handwriting :) and then i cannot wait for the copy to get filled, so that i can buy a new one.

Even now, i prefer buying my own copy for office, though we get stationary from office.
P.S. My handwriting is still bad...only the initial pages in the copy are good(should i say readable ;)).

2008-02-24T23:43:00.000+05:30

Just saw a program on Devotional Songs and realised the power of singing.
Being able to lend voice to a poets thoughts...its the singer who lends
soul to a song....the song then becomes an entity on its own...making the
listeners flow with it to another world.

Its just magical...

Remember once on my birthday, my near dear friends came in and we had more like a mushiara..wherein we all sang, danced...it was so fun.

I still have some of those snaps, can see how carefree we all became.

2008-01-21T22:52:00.000+05:30

My Friend Rush

A good friend of mine passed away recently, the doctors could not diagnose the problem and she suffered for a long time.

Cannot really come to terms with the fact that she is no more.
I got to know her on a a project, she did not want to get staffed on to the project, as she did not like the technology, and on that project i was playing the track lead role for the first time. I was floored by her dedication, inspite of not liking what she was doing, whatever she did was just perfect. Her dedication, commitment was amazing.

After that we got an opportunity to go to london on different projects, got to know her lot more. She will always tell me, aap ko thoda enthu hona chahiye...aap bas kaam karte ho, life mein masti marna chahiye.

She belonged to Sonipat, she was first girl in her family to have studied till M.Sc , first one to work in IT, who had gone abroad. I am sure in her city, she must have inspired lot of people.

She used to stay on her own in Delhi, she use to take proper care of food, use to get up early to make lunch for herself everyday. She was full of enthusiasm, loved to work hard and party hard, loved to explore places, roam around..i still remember that night in london, where 4 of us played staapu and lot of childhood games...and laughed imagining what would people feel if they saw the video monitors.

Later she came to b'lore and stayed with me. It was nice having her around. Though we were very different and were not close buddies but could always understand and connect.

Just feel god is unfair sometimes....what had she seen in life, she had so many dreams....may god give strength to her family to withstand the loss. i know its very easy for me to say this....

Rush, i have learnt a lot from you...thanks for teaching me what life is.

2008-01-19T23:05:00.001+05:30

Bad Me

These days i am losing my temper at the drop of an hat and my temper rises like water gushing out of hose :)
Maybe its not these days, i always was like this...just that it has become more frequent now.

I know my batchmates can never imagine me like this, but guys i am really nasty, you will not like to work with me :).

I have a new team member on my team and i am trying to teach her what accountability is all about...somehow after a one nice cozy chat, i feel i have done it from my side and its time for her to act.

Today i made her work on a weekend, she asked me indirectly does she have to finish this today only or Monday will be okay. I said today only. I have seen her hesitate to ask me something, sadly she has no choice.

Sometimes feel i have become a sadist.

Will patch up once she meets my expectations once :)

2008-01-06T16:33:00.001+05:30

Little Stream

As i trudge on this path of life
sometimes i break new barriers and discover new paths
at those moments, realize my potential and start thinking about the countless possibilities i have, ya ya i feel on top of the world
and i laugh at the people who thought i cannot do it
and also feel gratitude for all the people who encouraged me and were there for me
my friend puppy whom i call chotu or the big buffalo who comes to drink water and then gives me lot of Gyan

sometimes because of my lack of strength have to follow old paths laid by my elders
at such times realize my limitations and wish god had given me more strength

On this journey, have met lot of sweet people
remember the small boy who wanted me to take his paper boat safely to the big river
or the girl shanti who would dress me up with little wild flowers
or shambu the lover who would sit on the bank and sings beautiful songs
and of course my buddy chotu, who brings along with him his entire gang and then
we have a blast...i keep looking for such company as it makes me realize i am still kid in some ways...i guess everyone is

There are times i have met some nasty people, who try to bound me and want me to become stagnant, thank god each time i met someone like that, i was able to escape

I keep hearing horror stories from my cousins who are in big cities, they talk about the kind of stuff people drop in them, thank god i am in a village, where people still love nature to some extent. I will never go to city, that's for sure.

My mother river cannot understand what i am up to, i know she is worried as every time she calls me to find out about my future plans, i give vague answers...she tells me to think well about the path, as otherwise i will never meet the big river, i will just get dried up in the journey itself

I keep telling her, jaada mat socho...we are streams and stream should just flow in the direction the god gives a sign and not think of an end.

2008-01-04T00:18:00.000+05:30

Taare Zameen Pe Review
Just got back after seeing Taare Zameen Pe, i am speechless..its been a while since i saw such a touching movie, which has been shot so beautifully...amazing storyline, excellent directions. I was always an aamir khan fan but now, this adoration has reached even higher height :) He really inspires me now...

The story is about a 8 year old who is dyslexic(has diffcultly in reading/writing), the hardships he faces because of the expectations of parents, society..and how a teacher helps him to realise what makes him unique and helps him come out of the depression...The main message is each kid is unique.
Its a must watch!

The movie made me realise....the role teachers can play. When i was in school, before 10th, i was just an average student, was never a rank holder, i don't think my parents thought i will do anything amazing(not that i have done it ;-))...in 10th met a maths teacher, who changed my life completely..she had more confidence in me than anyone i knew..she used to feel, i can be in IIT if i wanted...Its because of her, i ended up doing B.Sc(H) Maths, a subject i use to dread at one point of time. I always feel, studying under her was the turning point in my life...Owe to you Lakshmi ma'am for what i am today.

Also felt, all this competitiveness, marks, promotions etc are so meaningless in bigger scheme of things. I have seen people change based on where u r...when i was in 5th grade, i joined a school in delhi, based my marks, the so called elite/good students, decided that they will not talk me or play with me...later after few years, when my marks improved, saw the same people inviting me, talking to me.

Coming to think about it, i was normal, still had to struggle a bit(not much though). ... what will a mental challenged kid go through.

What we define as success is so shallow. Our education can make us get good jobs but do nothing with respect to making good citizens or human beings.

2007-12-22T23:32:00.000+05:30

10 yrs from Now
J tagged me to answer what i want to be 10 yrs from now.

Well, i am a non planner, to be frank have no clue what i will be 10yrs from now..so let me do some blue sky thinking here.
Hope 10yrs from now, i am more wiser, more at peace with everything around, better at handling chaos.

Would imagine i would be a mother of a kid by then, hopefully will be doing good..hope i am not in IT around that time, doing something which like doing, having time to explore my interests.

2007-12-01T16:26:00.000+05:30

As i give the various exams of life
passing some with flying colors, some just passing on borderline, failing a few
i wonder how my scorecard would look
when i finally meet the principal, will he say well done!
or will he say i am disappointed, i expected much more from you

Must say the examiner is a genius, each student gets a personalised paper,
so no one can cheat/copy. As u keep giving exams, he keeps setting new ones for you
Sometimes he sets something easy, which give u a kick and sometimes he sets something tough

I know that in my report card this is one blank mark, and there is no way i can correct that...Oh teacher, i sometime wish,i do not have to give any exam..can i drop out?...i know that's not allowed as per the rules. :(

When we look around, we get to hear about the so many people, who were given difficult tests and how the got distinction, such stories motivates one to give his/her best shot

In this school, there is only one class, each student has his own curriculum,
, there is no end to acquiring wisdom, alas there is no end to the exams :-p. But i guess, the joy one experiences on each triumph is worth the pain

I guess more important then that, its the attempt that matters

2007-11-04T00:33:00.000+05:30

Team

Just saw the movie Chak De, which talks about the true story of a coach, who lead the indian women hockey team to world cup. It makes realise one more time the magic of team, 1+1 is surely 11, if there is team spirit.

Today as i look back at my career so far, can think of so many projects delivered with awesome team spirit, wherein for everyone it was the project that was of outmost importance..nothing else...no personal gain came into picture anywhere.

I remember in one project i called up the india arch who had not slept for 30 hrs at stretch, as i had run out of ideas to solve a issue once, remember a team mate being there for me once, when i felt we could not solve an issue....his just being there with me made so much of difference...another guy whom i could call any point of time....and when i will tell him i am sorry for calling so late, he will always remind me..madhu keep the big picture in mind.

A friend for whom stopped realising the time difference, as assumed he can be called anytime in case of need.

Nothing is more rewarding then to be part of such a team, wherein this energy flows...when i look back, and think of the various struggle periods....can see the magic of team spirit!

2007-10-22T00:29:00.000+05:30

Laga Chunari Mein Daag Review
Saw LCMD today, by the name of the movie anyone guess the storyline.
Yep its sad story.In terms of acting....everyone is amazing...especially Rani, Jaya, Konkana(in the mentioned order, as per me). Would say its a very well directed movie.

I cried so much watching it...its been a while since a movie made me cry.
So, if are interested in seeing good acting and have a tissue box handy...go for it.
Its a very touching tale.

The way Rani comes to city, in the hope of earning money for her family..telling her family lies that she has a job...so that they allow her to go...The scene where rani calls home to tell her mother she is coming back....where her mother barely hears her and just tells her about the problems...and later realises what her daughter was trying to say....lot of touching scenes...

The movie makes u think, so many people come to city in the hope of earning money for there family, such a small percentage of them really make it.

After seeing the movie, i remembered that today, while was on the street, met a couple with a kid..they asked me if i knew marathi or hindi...and i said yes..the husband told me that they had gone to tirupati and they had lost there money, if i can help them out...i was looking at them trying to find out are they being honest or not...he said he will send the money..i asked them what the fare is for a railway ticket...he said 200 Rs each. I gave him 500 Rs note, he then said there are 2 more people...if i can shell 500 Rs more...i somehow started doubting them...so just said no and moved on.

Sometimes it becomes very tough to differentiate between geninue and cheats. Sadly one bad experience and you stop trusting anyone.

I really hope this couple was geninue.

2007-10-14T00:35:00.000+05:30

Indian Airlines Flight
After ages i recently travelled in IA. Normally when i have to travel via flight will think of private players and would never consider IA as an option...as with govt run airlines u will always associate poor service.
Thought lets give it a try...as the timings suited me well.

Was pretty curious to see how the flight experience will be...as the first flight i took when i was a kid maybe 7 yrs old was in IA. I remember very clearly that, as soon as we boarded, the air hostess came with toffees they had special mint toffees then...and i opened my hand to grab a good amount then i heard my father's voice telling me to pick just 2.
I was like...these adults they will never understand...why do i have to always act as a mature well behaved kid(as kids, my brother and me preferred sitting with mother than father..as father was strict :))...with a very sad face i picked two...luckily the air hostess could read my dejected look and gave me a handful of toffees...i was thrilled.

My brother tells me that, when the flight was about to land..we both unbuckled our seat belts and stood up holding the front seats and giggled when we experiences turbulence.

As i was thinking all this..waiting for the announcement to board the flight...got to hear that the flight was delayed by 20 min's...as soon as we boarded the plane..got to know there will be 20 more minutes of delay...i somehow felt, this experience is gonna not be so nice.

When the flight took off..the air hostess came with tray of toffees...i searched for the mint toffees...alas...could not find it had to settle for the imli toffee..anyways was happy to get a toffee.
They offered us juice and later dinner...Must stay the cabin crew in IA is really very good, very hospitable.

Will surely travel again :)

2007-09-23T20:24:00.000+05:30

Perceptions

If we look around and see, we have formed perceptions about each and every person, and we just act based on it.

Something which we do unknowingly becomes the key characteristic in other person's eyes.
If i look inside and think about the common perspection people of me...i am for most of my office colleagues a workholic, who has no life....:-)

I once did some leadership building course, as part of that two people were paired up and were asked to fill questionaire which had questions about the other person.
From my partner i got to hear, i don't want to work with her...she seems no fun types...i was shocked to hear that...then i realise maybe thats the feel outsiders get of me.

Recently went to a b'day party of my friend's son and my friend said, thanks Mataji for coming...man i could feel the age at that moment. I wonder what made him create such an image of me :)

I am still trying to decipher that :)

2007-09-23T08:34:00.001+05:30

My Aunt
Went for a day to baroda to see my aunt, she used to stay in same colony as ours in delhi, only two years back they shifted to baroda.

Being there reminded me of lot of memories...
Uncle and aunty are very close friends of my parents, as well me. There were lot of time when i felt like just going to there place to just talk...and they could always relate to me...we never faced any generation gap. In delhi, most of my friend group has dispersed from delhi and i have made my mother's friends mine :)

My aunt is a very strong lady, who has lived a life which is an inspiration for us...never seen so one so selfless...she was the pillar of strength for my mom, when my father passed away. Like an elder sister, she used to take care of her.

I had planned to go to baroda when i had taken 2 months off...because of some confusion did not go...when i talked her, she had no complaints of any sorts.

Seeing now her in ICU...felt real bad...felt very helpless...could not do any normal talk with anyone there...felt whatever i say is utter waste and meaningless.

Felt how futile is this existence..there is so much pain around...

Could see some people talk general things "aapke yaha filter coffee powder milta hai"...i was like who cares a damn abt it... i guess they were trying to just have normal talk....even that is important i guess.

Only thing that was bundle of joy there were her grandchildren...twins...seeing them everyone seemed to lighten-up. Thank you advait and akshaj for being there for everyone.

I hope she recovers a bit and does not go through too much pain.

2007-09-22T21:47:00.000+05:30

Breaks Over
Tomorrow marks the end of my week long(correction short) vacation..sob sob sob
Back to the grind from monday...
Back to the world of status reporting, tracking, losing calm :)
On the sidenote, back to the world of taking small tea breaks and small chat breaks
back to experiencing joy on wednesdays, as more then half of the week is over
and being in best spirits on friday

Yet still not ready to face the world(read office)
Khaas school mein hoti...bol paati mummy tuesday se jaoongi, monday nahin jaoongi
Ab aisa kise bolu...koi nahin samjhega :)

I remember in school the thought of taking day off meant, not meeting your friends
hence would rarely take off
In office, finding such friends is rare and sadly when u find them...its tough to take out time

Lets see how days will be from Monday. Having severe monday blues starting today itself :)

2007-08-17T11:20:00.001+05:30

Silence

Who says silence does not speak
So much get said without having to say it
One can hear if the ears of heart are open

Sometimes lot is said, but still it does not get conveyed
The cluttered thoughts in our minds block us from really hearing it
And sometimes we do listen but filter what we listen
Based on the moods of our mind

I guess, we do not know what it means to listen
listening to what is not said and saying without having to really tell

Read this quote sometime back by Aldous Huxley:
After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.

2007-08-16T16:27:00.000+05:30

First Company-First Love
Last weekend met a friend, who worked with me in my first company.
We spoke about how we all were at that time, for us friendship mattered more than anything else...the reason we wanted to stick around though there was no work was because we had amazing people.

I remember, one friend of mine there, really hoped that a particular project came through, else he knew one of his close friend will think of leaving. He was willing to give his project to his friend so that he does not leave.

I guess, with time...we have matured and got rid of such sentimental attachment. Those sure were memorable days. I do not think i can ever feel the same way i felt working there, i guess it has to do more with it being the first company.
And i guess, i was really lucky to meet so many like-minded people at one place.

I remember that, when i joined there...i decided i will never leave this company until they fire me :D. Now, i will never say something like that for any company :)

2007-08-05T09:08:00.000+05:30

Being Stranded Experience

Last time i came to US, on my return...i got stranded in Amsterdam for couple of hours. Our connecting flight got cancelled thrice and finally they said, u guys have to stay for the night and take the flight in the morning. The airlines said, they will provide us accommodation and also take care of the food expenses etc...

It was amazing to see how people bonded, i had a middle seat in the plane(did i not tell u, my luck is running out these days), next to me on left was a school teacher, who taught in Nicobar and had gone to see her two sons settled in US, another person who sat on my right was a guy in his forties, who had settled in US, going to India on vacation.

The lady asked me to share the hotel room with her.

There was one more female, whom i got to meet, she was travelling to India along with her aunt first time after marriage, it seems she came to Sweden to meet her cousin, she fell in love with some Swedish guy, got married and now she is going for the first time to meet her family.
I was bit surprised to hear her story, as she came from a very orthodox background, and it seems her parents were all fine with it.

Also met a old couple, who were coming back after meeting there daughter, it was nice to hear about some of there views.

Before i left US, had very recently seen Before Sunrise/Afer Sunset movies, and i was in my dream world of meeting my Mr Right and i thought, what if i meet someone here, who is also stranded like me(ya, i am crazy :).

During the duration we were together, the two co passengers knew everything about me, and i also got to know so much...so at the near end of our journey, in the flight we were helping each other pick gifts based on the coupons the airlines gave us.

We Indians, have so much tendency to inquire...i remember we reached a time, when i felt these two people were asking me too much personal questions, i better wear my headphones.

Its also amazing to feel the concern, while at the hotel, i wanted to send mail, and as i was going down in search for a cafe in hotel, another couple asked me if everything was fine at my end, as they made out i was alone.

Nice Experience!

2007-08-04T22:12:00.000+05:30

Some Snaps i took long time back...which i like

Jal Mahal

An Amazing Fort in Rajashthan

I like the color contrast....

Chilling Out

Hampi..the ruins

Innocence

Red Chillies

Hardworking women

Cute Monks in Dharamshalla

Solitude...

2007-08-03T08:44:00.000+05:30

Formalities

I hate it when i end up doing something which i do not like doing but do not want to be rude.

Take this simple case, you are out of at a client location, and u r the only girl...there is a guy with you who does not know how to cook...u have nothing in common to talk about..u r forced to think, should i make food for him too.

One way when u think about it, whats the big deal...on one side i read books on buddha who is full of compassion and you really want to follow him, when it comes real life...u r contemplating what your right act should be for such petty matters.

So i face this conflict between the spiritual me and the feminist me.The feminist in me, never lets me do anything which she thinks people want me to do as its a girl thing...:), do it if u feel for it, that's it.

If i look back and think about how i was when in college, if my mother ever wanted me to dress up nicely...when we went to some relatives place...i will never do that..she had to really persuade me and then she will just give up on me.

another instance of the feminist ruling the way..if someone came to our house to stay and the luggage had to be brought up...i will pick it up and bring it on..just to prove a point that...don't think women are weak..and at night will ask my mom to put Moov, as i can feel the strain.

I guess, with age, the feminist and the spiritual me will become friends and come to a conclusion and i will just follow :)

2007-07-29T20:38:00.000+05:30

My wise friends...

I have a niece who is around 12 yrs old, once she came to visit me in delhi. At that time i was doing my masters...i remember, once i was loaded with some assignment..and i instead of working on it in the morning..pushed it evening and so sat working on it pretty late....she came and said the next day, akka if u had done it earlier, you did not had to sit so late and maybe we both could have gone out...

I felt at that instance, yep you are right....new generations are lot more systematic/intelligent :) Kids sometimes teach us so much.

One my way to back from office, i meet a girl occasionally, who asks me to join her game....when i am with her...life seems so much fun....and all my troubles seem so small/stupid. When i am not in a mood to play because of something that happenned in office, she asks me what happenned, when i tell her at a high level what happenned...she will just say...tell him u r katti and will not talk to him because he said x...

I sometimes feel, her advices make perfect sense :)

The child in me, gets thrilled when i do something not expected for adults, like leaving early from office to see a movie, getting off on my way back to a shopping area, and just roam for a while...,not working sometimes in the office and telling the boss directly, i don't want to work today, and when i get to hear a approval nod from the boss... as if some adult has allowed a kid to go play and study later....starting to sing not caring who is hearing...

There has been not some good moments, when i act like this...recently i said to my team, i hate planning...and i see my PM looking at me with surprise...as though thinking, i thought she is the most experienced among the lot here, a seasoned senior associate, she seems so immature.

We all have a kid within us i guess, who wants us to return to childhood once in a while... break free from this world of logic/responsibility for a while and return to simplicity, innocence, small joys...where the rules are very simple....2+2 is always 4, 1+3 cannot be four :)

Basically telling us, life is not that complex as u make it sound :)

2007-07-23T09:05:00.000+05:30

Want to Wander...

I know of a bird, which has left the cosy nest, and has wandered out to explore the world. She does not want to follow the norm which her clan has followed so far.

I had a talk with her and she said, i just want to go where life takes me, i don't have any destination in mind, i just want to experience things, as they unfold.

She was telling me about her journey so far, the kind of people she met...a boy who was lost in the world of art, for whom nothing else mattered...his life devoted to understand art....a girl who was a bundle of joy and who would make friends at the drop of a hat...a Chinese lady, who could not communicate with her, but her warmth was beyond the boundaries of speech...
and she carried on and on....

i asked her don't u want to stop somewhere and make your home.

And she said, wherever i am, its my home.

I said don't you want achieve something, something u can be proud of, like your cousin who has settled in Himalayas, and has set an example that nothing is impossible for a sparrow.

People who are close to you must be expecting something from you.

She laughed and said, do i need to achieve something for myself or others. If i can live the life with a open mind, i would be satisfied...

And then she started to talk about the future travel plans she had, she wanted to visit someone old aunt of hers who is very wise and how times flies when she is with her....and she wants to go to Antarctica and see the penguins..

She told me about her friend/guide wind, who is all wise and tells her of the interested places she should go to...i said, can u introduce me to your friend wind.

I also want to wander....

2007-06-28T11:39:00.000+05:30

Angel
Today i am remembering my friend..whom i call angel...someone who is a bundle of joy...full of energy, life...positivity...who can make new friends at drop of a hat.

Someone who has small wishes...when u hear abt it, u feel she is crazy...but on more thought...u feel...she is really living and kicking.

Reminds me what life is all about...

2007-06-12T13:50:00.000+05:30

Yesterday got a chance to go to a school to distribute notebooks. Our company has started some initiatives to do something for society...this was one of them.

For me this was an opportunity to go to school...go down the memory lane and remember how life was.....when we went there...could see the excitement in the eyes of students...they must be wondering what are these bhaiya/didi's doing in our school.

After distributing the books...we got a chance to sit in the staff room...saw photos of great freedom fighters, leaders...chandrashekhar azad, gandhi, radhakrishnan..school was the time for being idealist...doing hero worship. I remember when i was in 7th grade, i and another friend of mine used to see at the top of the slider and talk about what all we can do to transform the society...

In the school, saw the different charts the kids had made. Remembered all those assignments i got to do...remembered how some assignments used to became assignments for parents. In SUPW(Socially useful productive work), i remember my mother did some embriodery for me...while i was having fun :)

Remembered the enthusiasm at the start of a session, new books, copies, bags....it was amazing...also remembered the rush to finish the holiday homework before the end of holidays...

Wish i can go back again to School :)

2007-04-25T22:37:00.000+05:30

Purpose in Life

I was just thinking...sometimes i wonder what is the purpose of life...i wonder do people think about it too?
Its something like the maslow principle...only at the self actualisation/realisation stage...u will think of purpose etc..
I feel irrespective of the maslow levels...everyone has a purpose..the purpose is always beyond u.
It can be as simple as taking care of family...ensuring u r able to fulfill there wishes etc. With that purpose statement, one is ready to ignore a bossy boss, the corruption etc Every fight seems worthwhile in life.

If we see around, we see so many examples of it..

2007-04-25T22:16:00.000+05:30

Simple Pleasures of Life...........

I am on vacation, away from the pressure of deadlines, planning, replanning...thinking what each person in the team will do etc...Having time to notice on small things and reflect back on small pleasures.

Small pleasures like having nimbu paani or gaane ka juice in summer...or eating kakadi with masala and nimbu :)

Small gestures of people whom u don't know...but their actions touch you...remember once in b'lore was going to the main road from my house in summer...the walk is about 15 mins not much...as i was going ...a not so well off lady going with her kids in a rick stopped and asked me to get in...i was so touched...everyone made a little place for me so that i could sit.

Made me think, will i ever do something like this...if i see a poor lady going ..i feel not be that comfortable giving her a lift..as will think i cannot trust her.

Today went to a tiny shop to buy something and i just took what the shopkeeper gave and started walking...he called me and said u have not taken the change.

My maid in b'lore feels sad when there are no dishes to clean...as she knows i did not eat properly last night...her concern touches me and makes me think..when did i last ask her...how r u?