Morning Walk-A story

Sheela had been teaching in Khalsa Collega for 10 years now. The same college where she had studied. She was a asocial person, her life revolved mainly around her job and her love Hindi literature.

It was not that she was like this always, things changed 10 years ago when she refused to marry the guy selected by her family, when they asked for dowry. Her parents disowned her, as they did not see anything wrong in dowry, per them her being more educated is causing problem finding a match and no guy wants a more educated girl than him. This is when Sheela left home for good and came to Delhi. She stayed with her friends initially, till she could find a job.

She was at peace with herself now and contented in her small world. Her routine consisted of getting up in the morning, going for a walk, after coming back enjoy hot cup of tea sitting in the balcony while listening to her favorite carnatic classical music. Making breakfast, getting ready and then rushing to college. After coming back, a short nap followed by a cup of tea along with the daily newspaper. Though she was staying in kamala nagar for nearly 8 years, apart from the usual hello, kaise hai aap, she did not make friends with anyone. Somehow i feel, she liked it this way only, living life in own terms, no intervention of any kind.

Dec 10th was like any other day, while Sheela was sipping her evening tea, she heard the door bell, she found her neighbour Lata Aunty along with her new bahu Alka, who was all dressed up, the way nayi Dulhans are supposed to be. Lata said, aapko shaadi ki mitaayi deni thi aur apni bahu se milaana tha. Lata apni bahu se boli, bete, yeh Khalsa college mein Hindi padaati hai. Alka who was till now very shy and reserved, looked around the house and was thrilled to see so many books and she bursted out saying loud that aapke paas to bahut kitaabein hai, meine bhi BA Hindi kiya tha, MA karna tha par shaadi ho gayi.

Sheela thought to herself, how many girls lose their ambitions because of marriage. She felt bit sad for this kid and also felt happy thinking that good she did not let anyone make decisions for her.

Next day as Sheela was coming back from her walk, she met Alka, they had a small talk and Alka said aap roz walk pe jaati hai, mein bhi aaongi kal aapke saath. Sheela gave her an artificial smile and came back, she hated the prospect of company, she felt her morning walk will be all spoilt now. She could not think of a way out of this, she felt i am sure Alka has this enthusiasm of getting up only for a day, it will wear out...she really hoped thats how it will be. Even if she comes, she was sure she will be bored by her company soon.

Next day, Alka came 5 am sharp to Sheela's place and rang the bell, Sheela was surprised to see that Alka knew the exact time she normally went for a walk.
Sheela got her earphones, thinking i do not want my quiet morning walk be spoiled because of company, i do not want to hear about the usual gossip usne woh kaha etc. As they started walking, she realised that Alka did not utter a word, she was just focussed on walking and being with the nature. After the walk, they both sat on a bench, Alka told her about her mother's house, how it was growing up in Meerut, the entire area where she lived was like an extended family, she also told her about her favorite author Mahadevi Verma, the way she had brought to life so many animals for e.g. gillu,bhussa, making one realise that animals are so unconditional in there love compared to humans.

Sheela just listened to Alka's thoughts and found some resonance in her thoughts with hers.

Days passed like this, they met for morning walks, Sheela did not make any efforts from her side to know Alka more. She did not want to create any emotional attachment with Alka.

Winter was slowing coming to Delhi, because of the season change, Sheela got bit of sore throat accompanied by fever. Every time the session change, she always used to get this, this time however it seemed to be bit severe. Next day, she did not wake up for the morning walk. Alka came to her house as usual and saw Sheela still in bed looking weak. Alka made Kaada for Sheela and told her that, today she should just rest.

Alka got the lunch and started telling Sheela about the recent movie she watched and why she liked it. Sheela found it interesting that Alka did not like movies just for the usual emotional crap, she liked it for the characters and the storyline.

The next day Alka came by to inquire about Sheela's health. This time her husband also came with her and he said, if there is any help needed, she should not hesitate asking them.

Sheela felt good thinking that there is someone who cared for her. She decided that from now on, she will also make an effort to know Alka more.

Sheela started getting a book for the morning walks, so that she can read out to Alka, they usually had interesting discussions regarding the characters, giving Sheela think about the same characters in a different point of view. For Alka too, the morning walks were her favorite part of the day, it was the only time she had time only for herself, she was still getting used to her new life of being a wife, daugher-in-law...Alka said one day to Sheela, mein aapko Di bolaaongi ab se....Sheela smiled hearing this.

Time just went like this, Sheela who never opened up to anyone found a friend in this 21 year old. Alka found a elder sister in Sheela who motivated her and shared with her a different world/thoughts.

Sheela was all set to go for her walk and was waiting for Alka to come, its been 10 mins past 5, there was no door bell. She wondered what might have happenned, she hoped all was fine. Sheela went for a walk alone that day and did not like it a bit, instead of her circling the park with its cemented paths, the usual three times, she circled it once and then came back. The new bloom of flowers could not arose her spirits, the flowers felt sad as their old friend did not notice there new attire.

In the evening, she was surprised to find Alka's mother in law standing at her door, she asked her to come in and then she realised why Alka did not turn up in the morning. Her husband had got transferred to Agra and she was upset at the thought of going from this place, hence she did not come for the walk. Sheela was also upset, she felt she now again has to learn being alone. She wrapped some of Alka'a favourite books and thought of giving them as farewell gifts.

The next day, as she was getting ready to go for her walk alone, reminding herself she needs to be on her own again, she heard a door bell and saw Alka smiling, Alka said, Di mujhe maaf karna ki mein kal nahin aayi, i was upset, then i realised how can i spoil the remaining days i have with you, thinking about something of which i have no control. I have told my husband tomorrow i will spend the entire day with you, so let's plan out later after our walk what all we should do.

The day of going came, Sheela gave Alka the books and Alka gave Sheela a saree.They both were smiling, no one was sad, they knew there friendship will continue for long, this is not the end.

Back Home
I am back home after a stint of 8 months in US. The longest i have stayed from home till now. Not that i was home sick, just wanted to take a break or should i say escape from the rut of work work work. Not that the work was crazy its a combination of how much people acknowledge efforts. In here by people i refer to clients.
One needs to think of work as just a job and nothing more i guess. My colleague told me once that in consulting we are like waiters, serve them, if they do not like it accept it politely and serve them again...will never form such mindset by choice.

My visit to Delhi is marked by doing three things always.
1. Go to CP, go to a music shop, book shops and clothes shop, take a walk through the emporiums, i always find something interesting to pick there
2. Go to Kaleva in Gol Market and buy mirchi waale chips :)
3. Go to Ashok Vihar for random shopping

When i go to the shops near my home, i meet the shopwaalas who have seen me when i was a kid, can feel the warmth in their smile :). One shopwaala asked me bete tumhari padaayi ho gayi, i told him woh to kab ki ho gayi, ab job karti hu...thank god he did not ask the next obvious question in line.

This time, i took the metro to go to CP. Was surprised to see people had queued to board the train, you may think its a simple thing,but if u know the delhiwaala's its a big achievement in making them form a line :). Normally in metros, there is announcement that be careful of pickpocketing etc, in delhi u will also hear 'people do not push your co passengers while getting down' message...this is the trade mark of delhities, impatience is the middle name. Was wondering what an foreigner will feel hearing this message.

In this trip could meet lot of my close friends, had real nice time being with them, those are my cherished memories of this time's visit. Now looking forward to going to b'lore.

Cannot believe it happen to me

This weekend had made plans to go somewhere, which i had to cancel at the last minute, because of some work. One my friend suggested lets go for a movie, and i jumped on the offer as its been while since i went out and wanted to get some compensation for not going for the planned trip.

So we saw a musical, which was nice. On the return, had dinner at an amazing indian restaurant, when the time came to pay the bill, i realised i do not have my wallet. Realised i had left it in the movie hall.
We rushed back fast, the manager said since a movie was going, only one of you can go in and check. I was damn sure i will get it back, so was not at all worried...prayed to god...bagwaan bas is baar wapis dilaado, i promise will be careful moving forward and i promise i will be a good girl...etc etc

My friend went to search the place, i was wondering why its taking so much time, i thought maybe he is doing some entries. He came back and said he could not found it and he thinks its stolen. We spoke to the manager, she said we can come at midnight to check again, chances are less we will find it.

Its then i felt, it may happen to me. I was still hopeful that we may still find it.
We came back home, my friend said block the cards. I was thinking should wait for us to go back again, as i was still sure i will get it. On his suggestion, decided to block as safety measure.

I knew my US account number but had no clue about my indian cards...was thinking they may not block as i do not even know the account number, was relieved when they searched based on my name/address and finally blocked it.

We went back at midnight, searched again, realised it has really happenned to ME, ME?.

Few months back my friend had come, and while we were travelling in a car, someone broke the car and stole her purse. I was impressed by how organised she was, as she had all her numbers handy. At that time i had resolved to note all my card details, being a stupid optimistic that i am, i kept on postponing it thinking mere saath nahin ho sakta :-)

Lets hope this incident rubs some wisdom on me :)

Panic Attacks
Its been a while since i got a panic attack, recently experienced one :)
Last weekend was busy tuning some script, which had to be run the next week.
I was satisfied with what i did and was 100% confident that things will go smooth.

Finally the D-Day came and i was asked to run the script. To my surprise i found that the script is just getting stuck and not doing anything...i was zapped.
Felt i have brought dishonor for the company, as now the clients will start pointing figures at the capability of people...was thinking i have really put my Sr Mgr in a tight spot, not sure how he will defend.

Started looking at it, could not find any issue...concluded must be something majorly wrong in the server. A friend of mine dropped in and he proved to be the angel in disguise, he helped identify a small mistake which caused the entire issue to occur. I was so relieved and thanked him profusely.

This incident reminded me of few other incidents in past, where in someone presence made all the difference.

The feeling that someone is there with you, is more than enough sometimes.

Good Old Song
An amazing song from real old time...i am dying to hear this song :-)

Kuchh aur zamana kehata hai, kuchh aur hai zid mere dil ki - 2
mein baat zamane ki manoo, ya baat sunu apne dil ki

kuchh aur zamana kehata hai...

duniya ne hamein berahami se
thukara jo diya, achcha hi kiya - 2
nadaan hum samajhe baithe the -2
nibhati hai yahaan dil se dil ki

kuchh aur zamana kehata hai...

insaaf, mohabbat, sachchaai -2
wo rahmo-karam ke dikhlaave
kuchh kahate zabaan sharmaati hai -2
poochho na jalan mere dil ki

kuchh aur zamana kehata hai...

go basti hai insaano ki
insaa magar dhoondhe na mila -2
paththar ke buton se kya keeje -2
fariyaad bhalaa toote dil ki

Kuchh aur zamana kehata hai, kuchh aur hai zid mere dil ki - 2
mein baat zamane ki manoo, ya baat sunu apne dil ki

kuchh aur zamana kehata hai...

What do u want to be
What are u turning to

Can you call yourself a human
Or in this mad rush you are just being a cork in the wheel
Who blames the world for everything wrong
or pity's the situation one is in

Why is having your own personal space so important
Aren't u too created invisible boundaries,huh?

Why is being heard so important, why cannot you listen instead
Instead of finding flaws why cannot you see the unique traits first

Stop, sit back and ponder is this living all about?

Shopping Adventure
Recently had gone out for shopping, and in a rush to find a fitting room, i got in a room which had iron piece sticking out instead of proper lock handle, there was a paper stuck saying 'do not lock the door'.

I thought to myself, i think everything is fine just the fancy door lock is not here...i can manage in this fitting room do not have to find another one...so with a geeky smile i pushed the iron piece..and viola i had locked the room, wisdom stuck me soon and i thought lets confirm if i can open it too, so i tried pushing the iron piece in opposite direction and was happy to note i can open the door...was happy with my ability to come up with a work around :)

I tried the dresses and when i was about to get out realised that i could not unlock the door...felt so embarrassed..what will i say if someone asks me did u not read the note on the door, DO NOT LOCK YOURSELF...tried couple of things and then finally gave up, so called the supervisor...he called in someone who had lot of keys to see if the door can be unlocked..then one of the attendants came inside from the space below the door to see what the issue is.

I told her that i can get out the say way she got in...so i crawled out from the door..my friend was standing outside and was totally zapped to see me crawling on the floor :-)

I promised myself next time will follow instructions :)

Re-Union

On the long weekend, i had gone to meet my friends from MCA days and a friend from work...I was looking forward to this meeting for such a long time, was meeting my friend at work after an year and the highlight of meeting my MCA friends was, we were all meeting at one friend's place and one my friend who stays in US was visiting my other friends home for the first time.

So i landed on NY Friday morning, was not expecting my friend to wait till i dropped it, before heading for office, it was nice seeing him wait for me to reach :) Walking on NY roads, reminded of India...NY people share the same impatience that u find in India.

My friend and his roommate like proper host made breakfast and then headed for work...while they were away i just listened to music and slept off.
In the evening, my friend made a cocktail called long island which i had promised i would taste, after few sips could feel my head spinning so stopped, my friend experimented his culinary skills on me(which i must say was good :), we saw a movie and then slept off. The very next day i had to go to NJ to meet my friend, so that i could go with her family to Virginia. I got up early, decided i will go on my own to the train station as it was bit early....after walking for a while, i felt maybe i am lost as the distance seemed longer compared to what i experienced when i came there for the first time. One more time my direction sense let me down :(

Anyways...finally made it on time for the train.

My friend picked me up and we all started our 6 hrs journey to Virginia, on the way we chatted, listened to some good music.

We finally reached around 6, my friend's kids were very happy to reach, as it was pretty long journey for them, must say there were amazing throughout the journey.
My friend's daughter commented on the way, its been a while since we were in anyone'
s home :)

It felt so great to meet everyone at the same place, it did not feel at all that we are meeting after a long time, it just seemed as if we are transformed back in time...The friend at whose home we met was perfect perfect host, she was all the time worried to ensure we had proper food, she will just think in terms of what to make the next day etc...I felt, how would i be if someone came to my place? Can i be like her?

You know what, her cleanliness has rubbed off a bit on me, i am trying to keep my place tidy after coming back from there.. :)

At night once the kids have slept, we all(4 of us) will end of chatting till 2, it felt like the same old MCA days, when we would meet for some assignments or birthday's. It felt nothing has changed since then, more or less we are the same set of people, just bit more wiser now i guess :) The two days we stayed there seemed so long, as we ended up doing so many things, going out, chatting till late, eating, watching movie :)

On Monday, my friend dropped me back in Washington, even the journey back was great, the route was beautiful, we talked in general...

Took my flight from DC, while coming back had to mentally prepare myself to the "real" world :)

Surprise

This Monday i got back from the long weekend late night, as i was coming back in cab, only thing i could think of was my bed...i wanted to reach soon and just crash...
Finally reached my abode, saw a message on the door from the apartment manager, call me...i thought this must be because of the non-payment of rent, decided to call her first thing tomorrow.

As i entered my room, i was surprised to find the decor of the house changed, the book shelf has been moved from its usual location...on looking closer i realised that the shelf was empty, all my stuff was not there...then i saw the bathroom was sealed and some machine was making weird noise...and realised none of my stuff is there in the apartment, not even the food stuff.

Various thoughts ran my mind...something broke that's why they had to seal the bathroom, i couldn't understand why they emptied the kitchen..another thought came, am i being thrown out of this place because of non-payment, the manager must have been real mad, hence she confiscated all my stuff and has locked it some here...then i imagined myself making a dramatic statements saying is this how u treat fellow human beings just because there was a delay in payment...i cannot stay here even for a day now blah blah...and would walkout of the place with my stuff the next day.

Decided to sleep and get up early and call up the manager. So next day called the manager, got to know that there was a leak and they had to shift my stuff to another apartment late sat night, she gave me the keys for the new apartment and apologised for the trouble.
When i got in my new room, was amazed to see that she had put things exactly the same way as i had kept. I was really touched by her action.

Being Treated as Beggar

I normally take buses to reach office, few days back as i left from home to go the bus stop, i realised i do not have 1.5 dollars as change, the smallest note i have is a 5 dollar note. I knew in the bus ticketing slot u need to give exact money,as there is no provision for getting money back.

I felt lets see whether i get bus or cab first, if i take a cab i will have to pay more money, so in a way putting the 5 dollars would be a smart move :)

Guys do u like my logic? tell me, i am smart nah :)

So i boarded the bus, put the 5 dollars note, the machine got confused..it still kept saying drop one quarter or something..the bus driver looked and said, what did u put..i told him i put 5 dollar note, he was shocked...he said u should have given the note to me, and i would have given change. I said its fine(as that was the deal i had with myself)

He said, he will get me the money back, so as soon as the bus stopped at the next stop and people got in, he asked one guy as he was putting money to give the money to me.
The guy was zapped, he gave me such a weird look and started walking further, the driver shouted at him, either buy ticket or give the money to this lady. He shouted by why should i give it to her? I told him the entire story, he handed me the 1.5 dollars and it seemed his mood was all Tipsy-Topsy because of this incident.
He shouted back at driver, you should have explained.

At the next stop, again a lady entered..the same thing happened, she also gave me a weird look and then after telling her what happened she gave me the money.

I was not expecting the driver to do all this, but in a way felt just touched by his gesture to be fair. And also wondered why the people gave me such weird looks :)
They must be thinking she is some immigrant lost and looking for money and this driver not sure why has agreed to help her.

It was a funny experience.

Weird Experiences

I am real bad at roads/directions and if i have someone with me...i will never bother to remember the route. I am in SF right now and have a friend with whom i normally go to office...so i never bothered to remember it properly. One day i had to go on my own, i knew the address was 845 broadway and my friend had shown me the bus stop...so i reached there way ahead of time..got into the bus..was really proud of myself on my time management skills.i knew from the bus stop i have to walk a while to reach office...so i started walking, i reached the street but could not locate the office..asked few people..they guided me...alas still no sign of THE destination.

Finally got tired, also was getting tensed as i hate coming late for meetings. So i decided to take a cab...i got into the cab, the cab guy asked me where i need to go...told him the address, he said its very near..better go by foot...so with a dissappointment of a kid,whose parent has switched off the tv and asked him/her to go and study. I got down, cursing him why does he care when i am ready to pay.
I started searching again...but alas i could ses 843 but than 847...there was no buildings with middle numbers...i decided to test another cab guy...so took another cab, told him i need to go to 845 broadway...told him i am really tired...even if its very near i want to go via cab only..its been 30 mins since i am searching for it.
We searched for a while, then he said are u sure you have the right address? I was like..what do u mean? I, I cannot do such mistake...no way..for some reason the number 845 was soo clear on my head.

Since it was getting late, i thought let me check..as usual i did not have any paper/document which had the address..and i did not have a cell to call anyone. Luckily i had a friend's number..as normally i don't have that too :).

I borrowed the cab guy's phone and called a friend...asked him the address...he said 345 broadway. I could not believe it...why did 845 sound so right to me, from where did i get that number....no clue.

I wonder, if i am like this now...i wonder how it will be when i grow old :)

Now that my dear friend J has tagged me...here are the answers to Tagged: Wanna know me more?

Last Movie You Saw In A Theater:
Taare Zameen Par, an amazing movie

What Book Are You Reading:
I am reading Rani by Jaishree Misra, this talks about Jhansi ki Rani

Favorite Board Game:
Scrabble or Connect four

Favorite Magazine:
Tehelka(though have seen few issues)

Favorite Smells:
Smell of Mud after Rain

Favorite Sound:
Wind chimes, chirping birds

Worst Feeling In The World:
Someone doubting your integrity

What Is The First Thing You Think Of When You Wake? :
Can sleep for some more time

Favorite Fast Food Place:
Aloo Tikki

Future Child's Name:
Cannot think in soo future :)

Finish This Statement. "If I Had A Lot Of Money I'd...”:
Open a school, do something for children, travel

Do You Drive Fast? :
I do not drive :)

Do You Sleep With A Stuffed Animal?:
No

Storms-Cool Or Scary? :
Scary

What Was Your First Car?:
My father's first car was fiat.

Favourite drink:
Sugarcane juice or lemon juice

Finish This Statement, "If I Had The Time I Would .....” :
Travel

Do You Eat The Stems On Broccoli?:
Nopes

If You Could Dye Your Hair Any Color, What Would Be Your Choice? :
Won't dye my hair

Name All The Different Cities/Towns You Have Lived In
Delhi, Rajkot, Calcutta, Bangalore, SF, London, Sendai,Denver,
Atlanta

Favorite Sports To Watch:
None

One Nice Thing About The Person Who Sent This To You:
Amazing person who is very warm and has an amazing attitude, someone who looks ahead and not behind

What's Under Your Bed?:
Nothing

Would You Like To Be Born As Yourself Again?
Yes

Morning Person Or Night Owl?:
Night owl

Over Easy Or Sunny Side Up?:
Over Easy

Favorite Place To Relax:
In nature, preferably near water

Favorite Pie:
i don't like pie

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor:
Coffee Mocha

Of All The People You Tagged This To, Who's Most Likely To Respond First?
Have tagged none yet

A Quote
Ignorance is God's prison
Knowing is God's palace.

We sleep in God's unconsciousness.
We wake in God's open hand.

We weep God's rain.
We laugh God's lightning.

Fighting and peacefulness
both take place within God.

-Rumi

Khwaab
Khwaab to meine bahut sazaayein hai
Dekhna hai yeh zindagi mujhe haraati hai
ya meri dost ban ke mera saath deti hai

Wada hai yeh ki mein dil se kheloongi yeh baazi
har mushkil ko boojhongi jaise ho koi unsujzi paheli

Ab na jaaongi kisi mandir ya masjid kuch duva paane
meri jhooli mein woh hi bharna jis pe mera hak hai
chahe wo gam ho ya ho khushi
khaati hu kasm ab na karoongi koi sawaal ya shikwa
nat mastak ho ke sweekaroongi tumhara har faisla
par ek shart hai zindagi, tum bhi sachhe tareekein se khelna

Aaj kafn baad kar chali hu akele
Ya to apni manzil pe pahuchoongi apne shartoon pe
nahin to is khel is nikal jaaongi apni haar sweekarte huve
par yeh waada hai mera tum kabhie nahin paaonge mujhe
tumhare shartoon pe jeete huve

Inward Journey-A Story

Kavita had just finished her 12th exams and now she was gearing herself for engineering entrance exams. Her father felt it will be good if she gets domicile certificate, so that in worst case she can get a seat in maharashtra. Though kavita disliked the idea of getting admission because of quota, she wanted to get a seat purely on merit and in no other way...but the thought of going to kohali, a small town where her father grew up appealed to her a lot, and she felt it will be a great family outing if nothing else...she will get to see her father's school etc...

So the bowkar family decided to make a small trip to kohali to get the domicile certificate. It was not a direct journey, they had to go from calcutta to mumbai and then take a train to kohali. They decided to stop at kavita's mausi's place before heading further.
It was monsoon season in mumbai, this year the gods were really pouring cats and dogs.. Kavita's mom's plans of going for shopping had to be shelfed.

The night prior to there journey, Kavita's baba's fell sick, he had high fever, Kavita's mom felt no point going to kohali now, maybe its god's wish. Kavita's father was a practical man and did not believe in destiny crap...he said, we should do what we came for, so the family decided that Kavita and her mom will go while her father stayed back.

Kavita's mausi's gave them address of her friend who was teaching in kohali....most of there relatives were now either in metro's or in US...

The journey from mumbai to kohali was beautiful...lot of farms, with small cute house s in the middle, one could see the kids playing merrily, kavita felt like getting down and running in the farms...alas she could not...she was so tempted to pull the chain...then the thought of a dose from her mom made her get back to the boring real world.

Finally the train reached there destination, they took an auto to reach mausi's friend Sita's place. They asked someone on the road for direction and they said, oh aap ko madam ke ghar jaana hai, hum pahucha dete hai. Kavita was amazed to see how well known sita was in this place.

Finally the reached sita's home. The rang the bell, a girl came to open the house, asked them to sit and said sita didi will come in a second, do they want anything.
the house was well kept with minimal furniture, kavita started imagining how this sita female will look like, she thought must be some 40 plus aunty, who is so conscious of her age that she forces everyone to call aunty and she must be very strict in school thats why everyone knows her. she also felt what kind of person is she, she knew we are coming still she did not bother to keep herself free.

As she was thinking all this, a girl wearing a pink punjabi suit came in and said, maaf keejeyega mein aap ko khud receive nahin kar paayi, subah kuch bachhe padne aate hai...unke exams hai kal se so postpone nahin kar paayi...

Kavita could not believe she is Sita, she looked like 26 yr old. Her mom had told her that sita was around 35. Her pleasing face and geninue warmth cleared all perceptions kavita formed till then...

Sita said, aap log fresh ho jaye, aunty aap aaram keejiye, mein kavita ke saath jaake certificate ka kaam dekh loongi. On there way kavita, told sita about her plans...why she wanted to be an engineer, what all she wants to do etc...kavita could not believe how freely she could talk to sita, and she did not seem that elder.

The certificate thing got done quickly, kavita was amazed to see how much people in govt. office, respected sita. Kavita felt, if she was not there, the staff would have taken there own sweet time. Kavita asked sita on there way back, aap kya padi ho? She felt sita must have done M.Sc. in literature or something, Sita said, she studied biotechnology from B'lore university, and also did M.S. from IISc. Kavita was amazed, Sita could guess the question kavita had in her mind, what are u doing here in small city?

Sita said, she had worked few years in a research laboratory, somehow she could not fit in that environment, wherein there was so much of competitiveness and manipulation and that's when she decided to come home. Her parents were no more now, she loves this place so much that, now she cannot think of leaving this place.

On there way back, they had gol-gappas and kavita was happy her mom was not there with them, else she would have never allowed her to eat road side food.

In the evening, they all went to a temple nearby, kavita liked the ambience of the small city.
Kavita's mom told her to sleep early as they had to catch the early morning train...kavita's was really not in mood to sleep....alas she had to, she said, ma, do u know sita didi has done bio-tech? Kavita's mom said, i know...she was really very bright, its sad that the big city could not do justice to her talent.

Next day, as they were ready to go, Sita handed Kavita a small statue of god ganesha and presented her a book, and blessed her that may all your dreams come true.
Kavita was really touched to receive gifts from sita, who barely knew her. She hugged Sita and said, aap hamare ghar jaroor aana.

As Kavita said farewell to sita and got into the auto, she could not control herself and she started crying, she herself could not understand what is making her cry, why is she feeling so sad....her mother tried to console her on the way, beta kya huva...
she said ma, pata nahin...didi ek din mein hi itni apni ho gayi ki bas aasoo aa gaye.

In the train, she thought about sita...felt sad that her dreams could not come true and she had to compromise her life in some ways...then she thought maybe this was better, having someone like her must have been a blessing for so many kids on kohali.

With these thoughts...she looked it the book given by sita, it was a book written by abdul kalam azad titled 'wings of fire'....on the front cover sita had written a note , follow your heart and do not doubt your dreams, it will take you to your destination.

Kavita said to herself, ha didi mein pakka apna khwab poora karoongi.

Ghar aaya mera Pardesi-A Story

On friday night, Sunita got back from work, for some reason she did not
feel like eating, so just had a warm cup of tea to refresh herself and then she went to her apartment terrace to be with nature, for her night was a true friend, who is always there in ever listening mode and who is always trying to cheer one up via gentle breezes as if trying to tickle, making one realize there is a brand new day ahead, so forget what happened...relax and look forward to tomorrow.

She remembered 5 yrs back how her life was in city, weekdays busy with work and on weekends full time pass with friends...slowly how she lost touch with her friends and how everyone got scattered.Its been 2 yrs since she moved to her small town, working in a small bank. She has a simple life style, no tensions of any kind...everyone is warm but sometimes she misses those old times.

With these thoughts she turned to bed, and she thanked her friend night for reminding her that tomorrow is a brand new day with new hopes.

Next day at work, the peon asked her to come to the manager's office, as there was a trunk call for her. She was surprised to hear she got a call, that too out of station. Who will be remembering her she thought?

She picked the phone and with hesitation said hello, from the other side she heard, Hey remember me i am amit? We worked together in ICICI bank in delhi. Then the bulb lit for sunita and she could recollect amit...at one point of time he was her best friend. She was thrilled to talk to him after such a long time. Amit told her that ICICI bank is thinking of opening a branch in her town, so he will be dropping on next Wednesday and he would love to meet her. Sunita was thrilled at the idea of meeting her friend after so many years...4 yrs to be precise.

In the evening, once she got back..she thought of what all she would like to do once amit is here...she decided to leave office early that day and take amit to the nearby beach, as she remembered how much amit liked water and then she thought she will take him to the famous Aap ki Khatir restaurant...she was sure amit will love that food and then they can just talk about the good old days etc... Suddenly she saw the time then she realised its mid-night, she laughed at how time flew while she was day dreaming...that day she did not need her friend night for solace, she knew the coming days are gonna be great.

As the wednesday got nearer, one can see a significant change in sunita, whoever she met, she will tell them about her friend's visit.

Finally wednesday came, sunita wore one of her best suits and went to office, looking forward to the meeting. Finally the call came around 12. Amit said, he will be coming near her office around 3, can she meet her than. Around 2.30, sunita packed her things and told her colleagues she is leaving early, her friends were happy to see her leave early at least one day.

So finally they met at a coffee shop, as soon as sunita saw amit, she was transported to the old days, nothing seem to have changed. They had general chit-chat about what all was happening in there lives, sunita asked what is his plan for the evening, she said we can go to beach and then dinner...Amit said his boss was with him, so he cannot come, maybe next time he comes. Sunita was bit shattered, but she did not let that show on her face. Amit said he now has to leave, with that he left.

Sunita slowly collected herself and left for home. That day she felt, maybe she is still living in past, while everyone who was with her has moved on with there lives.
She went to the terrace, to be with the night....the wind started blowing slowly...the gentle breeze subsided her. Then she thought, may be she is overacting, nothing has changed...it does not matter if the day did not turn the way she expected, she should not spoil her relation thinking he has changed, she should just be more open and less expecting.

With those thoughts she turned to bed, with hope next time amit comes,he has some time.

Object of Affection
My friend J tagged me to write about Object of Affection.
Believe me or not...my object of affection has been pens and notebooks for a long time.

I just love exploring the different pens in a stationery shop and checking the different notepads..see which one has real smooth pages.

If you think this is crazy hear this.
When i was a kid, used to get pocket money of about 20 Rs. I used to save that money and buy a thick register which had real smooth pages...it used to be like a prized possession earned with hard earned money. My brother on the contrary used to blow the pocket money on the same day, he will pick a chocolate, packet of chips and enjoy his afternoon after school eating all that while reading a book. I would just go and beg him to give me some, and normally he used to share his stuff...must say had a decent bro ;)

At the start, i would write beautifully...slowly the book will seem not that new and there would be a decline in my handwriting :) and then i cannot wait for the copy to get filled, so that i can buy a new one.

Even now, i prefer buying my own copy for office, though we get stationary from office.
P.S. My handwriting is still bad...only the initial pages in the copy are good(should i say readable ;)).

Just saw a program on Devotional Songs and realised the power of singing.
Being able to lend voice to a poets thoughts...its the singer who lends
soul to a song....the song then becomes an entity on its own...making the
listeners flow with it to another world.

Its just magical...

Remember once on my birthday, my near dear friends came in and we had more like a mushiara..wherein we all sang, danced...it was so fun.

I still have some of those snaps, can see how carefree we all became.

My Friend Rush

A good friend of mine passed away recently, the doctors could not diagnose the problem and she suffered for a long time.

Cannot really come to terms with the fact that she is no more.
I got to know her on a a project, she did not want to get staffed on to the project, as she did not like the technology, and on that project i was playing the track lead role for the first time. I was floored by her dedication, inspite of not liking what she was doing, whatever she did was just perfect. Her dedication, commitment was amazing.

After that we got an opportunity to go to london on different projects, got to know her lot more. She will always tell me, aap ko thoda enthu hona chahiye...aap bas kaam karte ho, life mein masti marna chahiye.

She belonged to Sonipat, she was first girl in her family to have studied till M.Sc , first one to work in IT, who had gone abroad. I am sure in her city, she must have inspired lot of people.

She used to stay on her own in Delhi, she use to take proper care of food, use to get up early to make lunch for herself everyday. She was full of enthusiasm, loved to work hard and party hard, loved to explore places, roam around..i still remember that night in london, where 4 of us played staapu and lot of childhood games...and laughed imagining what would people feel if they saw the video monitors.

Later she came to b'lore and stayed with me. It was nice having her around. Though we were very different and were not close buddies but could always understand and connect.

Just feel god is unfair sometimes....what had she seen in life, she had so many dreams....may god give strength to her family to withstand the loss. i know its very easy for me to say this....

Rush, i have learnt a lot from you...thanks for teaching me what life is.

Bad Me

These days i am losing my temper at the drop of an hat and my temper rises like water gushing out of hose :)
Maybe its not these days, i always was like this...just that it has become more frequent now.

I know my batchmates can never imagine me like this, but guys i am really nasty, you will not like to work with me :).

I have a new team member on my team and i am trying to teach her what accountability is all about...somehow after a one nice cozy chat, i feel i have done it from my side and its time for her to act.

Today i made her work on a weekend, she asked me indirectly does she have to finish this today only or Monday will be okay. I said today only. I have seen her hesitate to ask me something, sadly she has no choice.

Sometimes feel i have become a sadist.

Will patch up once she meets my expectations once :)

Little Stream

As i trudge on this path of life
sometimes i break new barriers and discover new paths
at those moments, realize my potential and start thinking about the countless possibilities i have, ya ya i feel on top of the world
and i laugh at the people who thought i cannot do it
and also feel gratitude for all the people who encouraged me and were there for me
my friend puppy whom i call chotu or the big buffalo who comes to drink water and then gives me lot of Gyan

sometimes because of my lack of strength have to follow old paths laid by my elders
at such times realize my limitations and wish god had given me more strength

On this journey, have met lot of sweet people
remember the small boy who wanted me to take his paper boat safely to the big river
or the girl shanti who would dress me up with little wild flowers
or shambu the lover who would sit on the bank and sings beautiful songs
and of course my buddy chotu, who brings along with him his entire gang and then
we have a blast...i keep looking for such company as it makes me realize i am still kid in some ways...i guess everyone is

There are times i have met some nasty people, who try to bound me and want me to become stagnant, thank god each time i met someone like that, i was able to escape

I keep hearing horror stories from my cousins who are in big cities, they talk about the kind of stuff people drop in them, thank god i am in a village, where people still love nature to some extent. I will never go to city, that's for sure.

My mother river cannot understand what i am up to, i know she is worried as every time she calls me to find out about my future plans, i give vague answers...she tells me to think well about the path, as otherwise i will never meet the big river, i will just get dried up in the journey itself

I keep telling her, jaada mat socho...we are streams and stream should just flow in the direction the god gives a sign and not think of an end.

Taare Zameen Pe Review
Just got back after seeing Taare Zameen Pe, i am speechless..its been a while since i saw such a touching movie, which has been shot so beautifully...amazing storyline, excellent directions. I was always an aamir khan fan but now, this adoration has reached even higher height :) He really inspires me now...

The story is about a 8 year old who is dyslexic(has diffcultly in reading/writing), the hardships he faces because of the expectations of parents, society..and how a teacher helps him to realise what makes him unique and helps him come out of the depression...The main message is each kid is unique.
Its a must watch!

The movie made me realise....the role teachers can play. When i was in school, before 10th, i was just an average student, was never a rank holder, i don't think my parents thought i will do anything amazing(not that i have done it ;-))...in 10th met a maths teacher, who changed my life completely..she had more confidence in me than anyone i knew..she used to feel, i can be in IIT if i wanted...Its because of her, i ended up doing B.Sc(H) Maths, a subject i use to dread at one point of time. I always feel, studying under her was the turning point in my life...Owe to you Lakshmi ma'am for what i am today.

Also felt, all this competitiveness, marks, promotions etc are so meaningless in bigger scheme of things. I have seen people change based on where u r...when i was in 5th grade, i joined a school in delhi, based my marks, the so called elite/good students, decided that they will not talk me or play with me...later after few years, when my marks improved, saw the same people inviting me, talking to me.

Coming to think about it, i was normal, still had to struggle a bit(not much though). ... what will a mental challenged kid go through.

What we define as success is so shallow. Our education can make us get good jobs but do nothing with respect to making good citizens or human beings.